Is it so wrong that I want to stuff you in my mouth?

To begin, turkey has somehow become the big brother of Thanksgiving feasts (ham is the little brother).  I’m sure there’s a very good folk tale/reason why turkeys have taken the head spot despite having no head, but I don’t really feel like looking into it. 

(Okay, I did look into it, but it’s a little boring.  It involves some queen of England eating a goose and the Pilgrims finding turkeys in America easier… blah, blah, blah.  I did learn that wild turkeys can run up to 55 miles an hour, though.)

If there could be a middle brother, though, allow me to suggest this – hard salami. 

You may wonder, “Why hard salami?”  I say, “Because.”  If you’re lucky to already have hard salami as a part of your holiday meal, then you can stop reading.  For those that don’t understand… here is my back up response to because:

• Even though it thinks it’s hard, it’ s really easy.
• It’s like giant pepperonis, but better.  (And I sure love me some pepperoni.)
• I don’t know what they put in it, and I don’t want to know.  It keeps it mysterious.
• I could eat it every single day, even if faced against something from Taco Bell.  (Only if either item was free, though.  If I had to pay, I’m sure the Taco Bell would be cheaper and thus win.)
• It’s great with mozzarella on a plain bagel.  Trust me.
• I bet it would be Jack Bauer’s favorite food.

(SIDENOTE: When Google image searching “hard salami,” I was afraid of what might come up.  The following was a pleasant surprise.)

Rachel Bilson... hard salami...too easy.