I Am Thankful For… Hard Salami

Is it so wrong that I want to stuff you in my mouth?

Is it so wrong that I want to stuff you in my mouth?

To begin, turkey has somehow become the big brother of Thanksgiving feasts (ham is the little brother).  I’m sure there’s a very good folk tale/reason why turkeys have taken the head spot despite having no head, but I don’t really feel like looking into it. 

(Okay, I did look into it, but it’s a little boring.  It involves some queen of England eating a goose and the Pilgrims finding turkeys in America easier… blah, blah, blah.  I did learn that wild turkeys can run up to 55 miles an hour, though.)

If there could be a middle brother, though, allow me to suggest this – hard salami. 

You may wonder, “Why hard salami?”  I say, “Because.”  If you’re lucky to already have hard salami as a part of your holiday meal, then you can stop reading.  For those that don’t understand… here is my back up response to because:

  • Even though it thinks it’s hard, it’ s really easy.
  • It’s like giant pepperonis, but better.  (And I sure love me some pepperoni.)
  • I don’t know what they put in it, and I don’t want to know.  It keeps it mysterious.
  • I could eat it every single day, even if faced against something from Taco Bell.  (Only if either item was free, though.  If I had to pay, I’m sure the Taco Bell would be cheaper and thus win.)
  • It’s great with mozzarella on a plain bagel.  Trust me.
  • I bet it would be Jack Bauer’s favorite food.

(SIDENOTE: When Google image searching “hard salami,” I was afraid of what might come up.  The following was a pleasant surprise.)

Rachel Bilson... hard salami...too easy.

Rachel Bilson... hard salami...too easy.

Happy Find… Maria Bamford

Don’t know what it is about Maria Bamford, but after watching this, I was wiping tears from my eyes.  It wasn’t that I was laughing too hard… it was because I was crying.

I first discovered Maria when she was on “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” 

Click here to see the must-see clip, whether you like the clip above or not.  Thisssss – I command!

(from MilkandCookies)