Happy Thanks (For Starting This Great Idea) Giving!

Somewhere in this world (probably Los Angeles, and not because of City of Angels) an angel earned its wings. If this could become a trend by Christmas, I will be looking forward to waiting in line at the airport.   NBC News in L.A, take it off away:

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I Am Thankful For… Short Weeks!

You gotta hand it to this guy:

Hi five!

Here is the logical reason why:

  • If not for turkeys, we would not have Thanksgiving dinners.
  • Without Thanksgiving dinners, we would not have Thanksgiving day parades and football games to kill time waiting for the food to be ready.
  • Without Thanksgiving day parades and football games, people would not have to skip work.
  • Since so many people would skip work anyway, it became a national holiday so everybody could not work!

Huzzah for having the fourth Thursday of every November off!

We also have to celebrate these idiots:

Overheard by someone in line - "I heard they're selling Ramen noodles for a quarter!"

For anyone not working in retail, these freaks make Friday an easy day to take off as well.

Long weekend, here I come!

 

 

I Am Thankful For… Detroit 1-8-7

Let me begin by saying that although I do enjoy the show, Detroit 1-8-7 is not Detroit enough for me.  Like the misnomer in the title (187 is the California penal code for “murder,” not Detroit’s), it’s a lighter look at this shitty city.  It’s the equivalent to calling Detroit a doo-doo city.

Nonetheless, I’m happy for what it’s doing for the local community.  It’s work.  It’s a beacon of hope.  And it co-stars Erin Cummings:

Erin Cummings:

Erin Cummings:

Erin Cummings:

(Pssst! It means she lives here!)

(Pssst! Put her in the show more so she stays here!!!1!!!ONE!)

I Am Thankful For… Victoria’s Former Secret, Candice Swanepoel

As I sit and watch my Detroit Lions blow their chance to obliterate the Dallas Cowboys (and former Lions quarterback, John Kitna) and walk away with the better record of 3-7 vs. 2-8, I’ve decided to discover and uncover the beauty that is Candice Swanepoel.

It took me a little while to figure who she was after seeing her in a Victoria’s Secret commercial, and I’ve done it!  Unlike the Lions (they didn’t do it)…

To erase the loss from my memory, here’s Candice in a cowgirl costume:

Yee-haw!

 

The rest is pure bonus:

 

She may not be a lioness, but she's close...

The Lions will be flying home for another game on Thanksgiving!

Here's to hoping they can clean up their own mess. I, on the other hand, could use Ms. Swanepoel's help.

BONUS! BONUS! VIDEO!

 

(more costumed Candice’s here)

I Am Thankful For… Not Living In Russia

I recently had a discussion with my mother about our family’s heritage, and I always thought I was 75% Polish, 12.5% Ukranian, 6.25% Lithuanian, and 6.25% Russian.  Turns out, she doesn’t think that we are part-Russian at all.  I’ve been saying that all my life, and I don’t think I made that up, but that’s neither here nor over there… which thankfully, I’m not.

I’m sure there are plenty more reasons not to want to live in Russia.  I’m basing it solely on the brashness of their rodents.

Check ’em out:

I Am Thankful For… The Ultimate Alternative To Turkey

Thanksgiving is upon us, and so it is time to begin to list the things I Am Thankful For… and I shall start with this:

Surprisingly Affordable

So I bet you’re all wondering:

Is it real?

And if you’re asking that, you might have wanted to lead up to that question with this one:

Are unicorns real?

But the long and the short of it is… it is real.

I Am Thankful For… Pink Hair

Today is the day before the big T-Day, and what better way to celebrate than by thanking the universe for pink hair.  (I was going to sing the praises of open soda fountains in fast food joints, but faint rouge follicles FTW.)

It doesn’t matter if the puce  a wig, dyed, or animated, pink is a winner.  Now presenting three solid examples:

jillwagner_jem

Also known as The Mercury Girl (click image for commercial), Jill Wagner gets the mercury rising.

natalie_portman_closer

Natalie Portman is Closer to a rapper than the singer Pink ever was (click image for proof).

Erin+Esurance

My insurance policy on how much pink hair rules (click image for more thoughts on Erin Esurance).

Not a chance this is better than pink hair (but if there happened to be Mountain Dew)...