Body-of-Christ Slam!
I know that the above image has been going around and around after the passing of “Macho Man” Randy Savage and the passing of the “rapture”… but I still couldn’t resist. If you’re offended, perhaps this will be more to your liking:
Casual Priest
(via)
There’s some movement in the Detroit area called 2WordStory. Here’s the homepage from their website:
Seriously? Seriously.
Basically, it’s a church thing. The one-word question is before you find The Big Guy or Gal or Aliens Upstairs, and the second word is the answer after you find Him or Her or Them.
I’d prefer to use it in other ways, such as in, oh let’s just say, blog commentary:
Hey! September and December are the rhymiest months! (November is too, I guess.)
There have been many songs about various months, but did you know that there is one month that never had a song about it? Which month has the most? Which month has the least (besides zero)?
You can guess; I’ll give you the answers after the jump.
(SIDENOTE: What’s weird is that I’ve heard of a lot of these artists, but never most of these songs. What’s weirder still is the artists I hadn’t even heard of didn’t have videos on YouTube. So if they didn’t have a video, they didn’t make my list.
Oh yeah.
That’s right.
I even looked up the videos for you to check out. One-hundred-and-fucking-one videos. You better check at least some of them out.) Read More
I’ve already written about once dance move named after someone before (The Dougie, named after Doug E. Fresh, RIP M-Bone), so why not do it again?
This time it’s about another dance named after a character (c’mon, Doug E. Fresh isn’t his real name). This time it’s Movin’ Like Berney, after the eponymous Weekend at Bernie’s:
I had not much more to write about this, until I realized there are other dances named after characters. There’s the Roger Rabbit, the Running Man, the Cabbage Patch (Kids), and Batman (who could forget the Prince’s Batdance no matter how hard you try?)…
But who else should have their own dance?
Forrest Gump?
E.T.?
Got it… Nicolas Cage (he’s a character, for sure)…
It seems like a lot of Drunken Recollections are about mix-ups, so why not create a term for it:
ALCONFUSION
This post is about a pair of moments of alconfusion… one on my behalf, one on behalf of another.
While in Kentucky for the derby, I was at the bar and somebody was talking about Rachel Nichols and her possible hook-ups with most of the NFL or NBA or whatever… that’s neither here nor there. They were talking about the sportscaster from ESPN:
Rachel Nichols, daughter of director Mike Nichols and her mother
I thought they were talking about this Rachel Nichols:
Except she's not normally green...
Hopefully this will help:
Yo Joe, indeed.
So my alconfusion was me thinking they were speaking ill of actress Rachel Nichols when they weren’t. They were just speaking ill of the sportscaster I don’t find attractive know.
I was going to write about Lupe Fiasco’s The Show Goes On a while back because it liberally borrows from Modest Mouse’s Float On, but the song’s creators acknowledged that at the time of release, so I didn’t. But I get to write about it today.
While this tune played at the bar, a friend asked who performed this Float On rip-off. I answered correctly, but what she thought I said cracked me up.
I replied:
Lupe Fiasco
She heard:
Beefy Asshole
I was planning on writing about Damn You, Auto Correct! but everyone has probably already seen the site. If you haven’t, you can click on the link.
Instead, my true Happy Find is a Norm Macdonald find – his nephew*, Kyle.
A sample of his interviewing skills, as viewed on Sports Show:
But even better than that, though, is his Good Neighbor Stuff:
I don’t know what it is above using first initials of last names that makes me laugh so hard… It’s probably that I wish we still did that as adults.
*?
I wish this dream was a bit more straightforward, à la Clint Eastwood’s fourth Dirty Harry movie, Sudden Impact, but it’s not. I awakened from it, distinctly remembering the name of the movie-in-my-mind was Sudden Impact!, but the plot and story were a little lacking.
It was one of those subconscious jumbles of flicks I hadn’t seen in a long time, or never. It’s still so vivid in my brain pan that I could try to explain it to you, but it can’t be conveyed with any amount of clarity, so I’ll just make a stew of the images.
You can make up the story yourself.
(SIDENOTE: The story was essentially this… Michael Pare was the tough guy at a college campus, and the nerd from Troll 2 was his roommate in a frat house like in Real Genius. The nerd invented this pink slime that he could put on his head to make him popular, or something, but his soul ended up leaving his body and going into the slime. So next, as the slime, he moved onto the sorority house and took the souls of girls in their shower room. Upon finding all this out, Michael Pare took the pink slime onto himself and he jumped out the window to his death, like in The Exorcist. The splat at the bottom was his – wait for it – Sudden Impact!)
Far be it for me to claim that I’m above listening to the Love Song station on Sirius XM, so here’s me claiming I’m well below.
Today, I heard this tune from 1968 by Bobby Goldsboro (?) called Honey, and in many ways, it’s simply terrible.
First, I’ve always found that songs about… well, let me make you listen to it first:
How misogynistic can this song be? He laughs at her crying, he laughs at her dreaming, he laughs at her almost hurting her herself… he even calls her “kinda dumb.” And as for the twist ending? She’s dead?! Like I was about to say before the video, I never understood the trend of dead teenager songs in the 60’s, but this one has the special distinction of once being called the worst song of all time.
I probably wouldn’t go that far. These two current songs are pretty bad, too.
Ice cream treats and traffic jams and cute girls shouldn’t automatically make me think of dirty things, but I’m afraid my poor subconscious is beyond tainted. It’s so tainted I can barely type the word tainted and not be derailed by horrible mental images. Dear sweet Rachel Bilson, this is not the first time your visage has been intertwined with potentially distasteful acts on this site, but I do hope it is the last… unless it’s actually about you being intertwined with potentially distasteful acts.
(SIDENOTE: If that commercial seemed foreign to you – foreign as in from over there – it’s probably because it likely is.)
This is only my third In Defense Of post, so I haven’t fully developed my method of argument. But wait. I don’t really have a method for anything on this site. Moving on…
This time I want to come to Ashton Kutcher’s defense. Is he in need of arguments for him? Are you really asking that?
Dude, you're not helping.
REASONS WHY PEOPLE HATE DON’T LIKE HIM
REASONS WHY I’M DEFENDING HIM
Or they like to smile when they fight. Either way.
So in closing, that’s five good reasons to defend him, over three reasons to hate on him. As one of the original Two Men once said over and over and over again, “Winning!”
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 
