If you don’t know who Mark Curry is, you’re like everybody else in the world prior to the premiere of his ABC show, Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper. As a refresher:
That image has some unsavory undertones...
AnyTGIF, he hasn’t done anything in a long time, but I dreamed of his comeback:
Show slogan: "He's no longer the teacher - he's the mayor!"
But the sad reality I found out was this (via Wikipedia):
On April 17, 2006, an aerosol can that had fallen behind Curry’s water heater exploded and Curry, who was doing laundry at the time, was burned on over 20% of his body, including his arm, back and side. He spent many months recooperating at his home… [Emphasis mine, of course – Ed.]
Anyone else up for the idea of Cooper Town? Anything’s better than Cougar Town…
I finally got Sirius XM a few months ago, and as it goes with most new technologies that I drag my feet on, I don’t know how I lived without it.
(SIDENOTE: I’m still unsure how I feel about Facebook. It reminds of the last fifteen minutes of LOST when everyone finds each other in “heaven” against all odds. Have I mentioned how much I hate the last fifteen minutes of LOST?)
That being said, I bounce around the stations. Whereas I used to have about 10 terrestrial channels, I now have an additional 10 solid satellite ones, if not more. So for me to stumble across a crossover country song isn’t that unusual. What is unusual is this song by Tim McGraw called Felt Good on My Lips:
That’s country music? I mean, yeah, there’s still the omnipresent xenophobia, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard a good ol’ boy recite these kind of lyrics:
She ordered us a drink
It was a purple kind of pink
She said it’s got a shot of a little bit of everything
Mellow yellow umbrella for a fella like me
It was just a bit mellow for me to be seen with
And also, what’s up with the last song by Taylor Swift? Back to December sounds like it wants to be the first countremo song (that would be emo country in case you were wondering):
In the spirit of full disclosure – I kind of like both songs I don’t really give a ten-gallon hat.
So yeah, this one I could have made into a So, Duh! Pop Quiz, but I think I’m pretty much done with those for now (hence the brand spankin’ newishIn Defense Of category). Instead, I’m presenting two works of pop culture nerdity (and one of sheer commercialism) that are neat on their own, or in this Awesome Battle.
Don’t worry – I’ll still put the characters and companies after the jump.
Love ain’t what it used to be, I guess. And what it used to be was creepy and stalker-ish. How these songs were possible isn’t my greatest concern… it’s the fact that they were popular!
Each of these songs were certifiable as The Shit at the time of their initial release (or in one case, re-release).
This one should be obvious. But it should be noted that it’s a remake of a French song… about stalking. It should also be noted that Little Peggy March was 15 when she recorded this (and she’s still the youngest female artist to have a U.S. chart-topping single).
Sample lyrics: Into my room he creeps? Into my dreams he peeps? This is a love song? (BTW, I love this video someone made, mostly because the dude is wearing an eye patch…)
Singer Debbie Harry based this song on her ex that once stalked her. I never realized it was about that, although I should have from the chorus, or with these lyrics: I’ll walk down the mall/ Stand over by the wall/ Where I can see it all/ Find out who ya call…
Okay, this one isn’t as heavy on the stalker side as it is creepy. With lyrics like She’s just 16 years old/ Leave her alone, they say, it’s a creepy win. Neil Diamond almost made this list for the same reason, but there was some extrapolating involved. He wrote Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon in 1967, then he wrote Sweet Caroline in 1969 about Caroline Kennedy… who was 12 at the time.
If it weren’t for the video, this one could have slid by unnoticed. But I’m not blind… that was probably a poor choice of words. Don Henley’s Boys of Summer almost took a spot for swimming around stalking (I’m driving by your house/ Though I know that you’re not home… Remember how you drove me crazy?/ Remember how I made you scream?), but its video, which is nowhere to be (easily) found, kept memories of it light and nostalgic.
So where are all the good creepy stalker songs these days? In 27 years, have they truly gone the way of Just Shitty?
Nowadays, Amanda fights in mixed-martial arts, and in the midst of fighting she looks like the fast-running character from The Battle for Endor named Teek:
Most of you may not know who The Victorious Secrets are by name, but last year, they won FSN Detroit’s annoying April in the D contest.
To those of you not from “The D,” April is that time of year when three of our Detroit sports teams – Tigers, Red Wings, and Pistons – are supposed to be playing simultaneously… I say that begrudgingly because it requires two of the teams to make it to the playoffs, and only one has… for twenty years! (The Pistons might pull out of their slump next year with the new owner…)
Anyhoopdreams, back to the contest. Last year, The Victorious Secret won with this song:
Then they went on to win FreeCreditScore.com’ssimilar contest with this ditty:
And now you see them in these national commercials:
I WANT THEM TO COME BACK AND MAKE ANOTHER APRIL IN THE D SONG!
This is the crap that won this year:
They actually use the phrase raise the roof non-ironically…
It’s a sort of situation when you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone. And yes, I’m saying that non-ironically…
Michigan State Lottery has a ad campaign going on entitled, well, here’s the billboard: That on its own is good and dandy, but the commercials get me JusWondering what I wrote above. Here’s a screen shot (you can watch the ad by clicking here):
Things that make you go hmm...
What this leads me to believe is that:
African-Americans buy lottery tickets.
Middle Eastern-Americans run convenience stores that sell lottery tickets.
Annoying white kids hailing from families that can afford clear braces are benefiting from this system.
And the only way the African-Americans and Middle Eastern-Americans can benefit is if someone wins?
Am I crazy for noticing/thinking this? Please comment below…
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 