This is kind of old news, but if you haven’t heard about it – Hey! Hot off the press!
I heard the screeching mess that is Beyonce – er, I mean Sasha Fierce, grrrr – on the radio today, and it trudged up my Capra-esque rage on behalf of the little man. The screeching mess in question: “If I Were a Boy.” The little man in question: cutie BC Jean (pic from Crazed Hits).
The source of my fury stems from a conspiracy that goes like this: producer Toby Gad co-wrote the song with BC, then he went behind BC’s back and sold it to Beyonce (I originally wrote Bitchonce, but you could see the flop it would have been… perhaps Bitchyonce? Buttyonce?) And since no one involved has mentioned anything further in the press, I assume BC was either fiscally compensated or fiscally threatened (see how I did that?) by tubby’s hubby, H.O.V.A.
The thing that I think makes me maddest is it doesn’t work! (You seriously have to listen to both versions to understand my upset) Beyonce is not a twenty-something MySpace girl! Some might say the lyrics apply to women from all walks of life. Others might say I just hate Beyonce. Mostly everybody would be right… mostly.