Hibbidy-Wah?! I Might Want To Help Her Start Making Grandbabies
I’ve looked high and I’ve looked low, and lo and behold, there she was on the TripleDoubleU…
(SIDENOTE: I really want to get that mask…)
Month: May 2011
Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Day-O-Gimme-A-Break
This is a true Coinkydonk or Coinkydonk because it is a coincidence… or not.
Both Lil Wayne and Jason Derulo have recently released new singles that sample the same song! Sure, it’s different parts of the delightful ditty, Harry Belafonte’s Day-O, also known as The Banana Boat Song from Beetlejuice, but still.
- Lil Wayne’s 6 Foot 7 Foot
- Jason Derulo’s Don’t Wanna Go Home
Derulo’s song also heavily samples a song by Robin S. called Show Me Love:
Which incidentally happens to share the same name, Show Me Love, as a song by a Swedish pop star named… Robyn:
In closing, doesn’t Lil Wayne bear an uncanny resemblance to Howard Stern semi-regular, Beetlejuice?
"Weezy and the Beet"
Awful Battle…. Pet Peeves, As Demonstrated By Pets
I haven’t tried being “clever” in a while, so why start now. I’ve been meaning to compose this list for quite some time (so long that one of them isn’t as much of a concern anymore), so without further adieu, here’s my Awful Battle of some of my biggest pet peeves, as demonstrated by pets:
- Glass bottles left in parking lots…
He had a ruff night.
…really drive me up the wall. I’m not a fan of pollution in general, but empty beer and juice bottles are the worst. Even though I’m not too sure modern bottles can puncture modern tires.
- Tailgating and braking too close…
The carriage bumper sticker reads, "If you can read this, you're a smart ass."
…is not only dangerous, it’s stupid. Especially if there are other lanes. Get in the other lane!
- No hand washing after a bathroom break…
Cat-astrophe!
…is disgusting. Anyone that argues otherwise… is disgusting.
- Smoking under table…
Coincidentally, this dog's name is Doobie.
…luckily doesn’t happen any more, at least in Michigan. This was my old puff peeve, but since there’s no smoking in bars, I don’t have to worry about super-smelly jeans anymore.
- Different gas prices for cash and credit…
Polly wants a fucking break.
…and having to enter zip codes could be called my pump peeves. Sorry. This Awful Battle is almost over…
- Girls that wear pajama pants and snow shoes at bar…
I can't stay mad anymore.
…awwwww, this one doesn’t bother me as much for now. Ask me again in the winter.
Worth 1003 Words… The Pen Is Mightier Than The Lightsaber Edition
Red Marker Five
(via)
The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… Sexy Beer Ads
Sexism in beer advertising just ain’t what it used to be.
Remember when beer ads had scantily clad women in barely there bikinis, rubbing icy cold bottles of the devil’s brew up and down their glistening– wait, there never were commercials like this?!
Take a look at the latest offering from Miller Lite and tell me if it’s sexy or not:
Well okay sure, the ladies are hot. And there’s nothing wrong with beautiful girls in full-body blue bathing suits tackling a man in a convenience shop. But I can’t help but wonder what these kind of commercials would be like if the censors weren’t watching. I’m not talking XXX territory either, just a racier ad.
After all, isn’t this an ad campaign aimed at guys? Guys that the MillerCoors Brewing Company want to drink their light beer? Or is that what this boils down to. Perhaps a manlier beer deserves a manlier campaign:
I’d rather stay thirsty my friends, than gather Taste Points…
…even though I prefer to drink Miller Lite over Dos Equis.
But that’s mostly because I’m cheap frugal!
A Handful Of… Seriously Bad Ideas
I’ve lived my life in a bubble, and I’ve enjoyed it for the most part. The fun part about being in a bubble is you can still see outside, except your outlook is swirled and soapy. Sometimes that bubble pops though, and I use the remaining suds to wash my eyes out. These are some vision scrubbers.
We’ll start out small, with a product I never knew existed (as it should have remained).
- ITEM ONE: A product called NYDJ for short… and Not Your Daughter’s Jeans for long…
It reminds me of this classic, butt in real-life (moved it to after the jump because of auto-starting).
- ITEM TWO: Frisbee Golf or Disc Golf is real…
I’ve heard of the game, and I know people who have played it, but I always thought it was something impromptu… like LARPing. But then I saw one of these in a park near work:
Oh. It's real. Real serious.
- ITEM THREE: Kiss Transmission Device or specifically, Virtual French Kissing Machine…
In effect, this:
- ITEM FOUR: “Maggie the Maggot” from Galaxy of Terror
This is definitely the worst of the bunch, and since it’s not safe for work life, I’ll let you follow-up on it here.
(SIDENOTE: To cleanse the mental palate, watch this dog being a dog with a bad idea.)
JusWondering… What Is Jumping The Broom?
Anybody hear about this movie called Jumping the Broom?
This Summer, Learn a New Term!
Anybody hear of the phrase jumping the broom?
Well, apparently it’s
a phrase and custom relating to wedding ceremonies practiced in Wales, by Romani people (better known as “Gypsies”), in some African-American communities, and by other groups.
That I could have garnered from the poster. What else ya got, Wikipedia?
In Wales, Romani (Gypsy) couples would get married by eloping together, when they would “jump the broom,” or over a branch of flowering broom or a besom made of broom…
…In some African-American communities, marrying couples will end their ceremony by jumping over a broomstick, either together or separately. This practice dates back at least to the 19th century and has enjoyed a 20th century revival largely due to the miniseries Roots.
Sooooo (how many o’s are enough?) it has ties to slave times. And the question of which culture the practice originated from is still up for debate. Ummmmm (how many m’s are enough?) that’s an interesting title… and I learned something today, sooooo there’s that…
Kthxbai!
Drunken Recollection… Oh, The Things We Believe When We’re Sober
On three occasions from three different friends I was asked about the validity of each of these videos. I think on some level, in each situation, my friends knew these weren’t real or true. But on another, perhaps spiritual, level, they wanted these to be real or true. Why? Well, I get the second one, but the others? No thanks.
- Alien Captured in Brazil
My friend Jess brought this video up, knowing full well how I feel about aliens, and by the time I finally mustered the sauce to catch up on it (see what I did there?), fear did not overcome me. Not even a little. That translates to: FAKE.
This one was a surprise to hear. My friend that shall go unnamed – not for protection, but for annoyance purposes – thought petite lap giraffes were real. They were in Comcast commercials. Not Animal Planet. Unless it was a Comcast commercial on Animal Planet.
- Doomsday Scenario – Brown Dwarf Star Edition
Don’t watch the video unless you want to be tortured prior to our inevitable demise. My friend Jason likes bringing this one up, plus all the updates and refutations he’s found. He’s new to the TripleDoubleU, so I forgive him. This gist is this:
By September of this year, we’re all gonna die.
The gist of my response to that is this:
Keep on drinking!
Happy Find… Talking Animals
You’ve probably seen this already, but I still think it’s well-done… like a steak, covered in bacon, and cheese sauce… that I gave to the neighbor’s dog!
The other stuff by Talking Animals (Klaatu42) is hit or miss:
HIT:
HIT:
MISS:
Hibbidy-Wah?! What Does This Mean?! Please Someone Tell Me So I Can Sleep Tonight!
Wh.
At.
The.
Fu.
Ck.
I can find no other words than Hibbidy-Wah?! and even that’s not enough.
I might start crying.
The only possibly insight I’ve found in regard to this atrocity is another ad:
It's still not adding up.
Is it that the little girl on the store display is sad because she has a diaper rash, or her dad’s hands are rough from work, or–
hmmph…
I don’t even want to go down that rabbit hole–
hmmph…
I wish I didn’t use any of those words above, like go down or hole—
grrrrr…
Why does lube have to carry such a negative connotation?!
Aaaaaargh!!!
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 