In My Brain While Sleeping… What’s Wrong With My Subconscious?

I don't get it either, Catherine, and it was my dream.

This dream played like a movie starring Actor! Catherine O’Hara.   To begin, she and her family lose their home, so they move into a college dorm.

Upon arriving, they realized they packed their dog in the luggage and it peed over all her suits.

Suit case. Dog. Internet win.

(Oh yeah… it should be mentioned that she pretended to be a man a long time ago to “compete in a man’s world” and become an executive at her office, until they fired her and forced her to relocate to the college dorm.)

You're not fooling anybody, Mary Poppins.

In this new town with new possibilities, she interviews for a new job, still playing a guy.  The new twist on her old method – the guy she’s playing will be playing Dorothy in the company’s new Wizard of Oz cross promotion.

Meanwhile, the boss falls in love with him, knowing she’s a her the whole time.

Truly, the only cool part was the fight scene in the falling house.  During the tornado scene, Dorothy kicked the Wicked Witch’s ass.  It was a lot like the Matrix, except the aerial acrobatics made sense…

…even though this dream did not.

Why? Why not.


  1. Michael · April 8, 2010

    I met a woman at a convention in January who was ridiculously Catherine O’Hara-ish, not just in appearance and age which were bang on, but in voice, which was just scary.

    So I have was having a lot of fun with that…”what was it like to work with John Candy? Was he always ‘on’?” And she was super happy go lucky, just like I’m sure the real Catherine O’Hara would be.

    So this other guy from a different vendor, who wanted to spoil my fun, in kind of “I’m the alpha here” way, and who knows, maybe he had a big crush on her, he was a lot closer in age to her than I am, tried to diss me, which is really dumb because my company hosted and all the vendors are their to kiss our asses, because we are a big evil empire industrial juggernaut (you know like the Yankees, or the republic, whichever you like, not judging/bragging, it’s just the way it is, have worked for many ‘little engine that could’ companies too).

    So he’s all “you live in such and such medium sized city? Is that DOWNTOWN such and such a medium sized city?”.

    I was like wtf? I’m having great laughs with Catherine O’Hara doppleganger, and now this asshole is talking direct shit to me?

    Hmmm…so I said “Well, when you’ve been to Cairo, then you get to talk about such and such medium sized city”. Because I’ve been to Cairo, not bragging, it’s just the way it is. And he shut the fuck up.

    But I didn’t feel done there, because, you know, the Chicago Way and stuff. and the only people in Canada who talk like that are from the greater metropolitan Toronto area, they think they are the center of the universe.

    So I said “And you must be from…Ontario?”. And Catherine O’Hara laughed and laughed…”he’s from Oshawa”.

    And then the guy shut the fuck up for good, and everyone lived happily ever after.

  2. sgottahurt · April 10, 2010

    Two things:
    1) Are you sure it wasn’t Catherine O’Hara?
    2) What’s “Ontario/Oshawa” in American please?

  3. Michael · April 11, 2010

    1.) Nice! Very nice
    2.) Wish I could dumb it down to American…really wish I could, but even I shut down half my brain I still won’t get there. Google it maybe?

  4. sgottahurt · April 11, 2010

    What’s… Google?

  5. Michael · April 11, 2010


    Why does the movie “Idiocracy” spring to mind right now? Am thinking of legions of lazy parents who tell their kids to google stuff so they don’t have to learn it themselves giving way to a generation of even lazier kids, to whom googling something is as bothersome as going to the library is now.

    There might be a cartoon in there…

  6. Michael · April 13, 2010

    There was a cartoon in there!

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