Drinking with friends is getting to be a problem common again, and ye of the TripleDoubleU get to reap the benefits.
This time around, another blog’s post was brought to my attention. Namely, this headline from IGN:
Here’s one example shared by both the MTV reality show and the classic RPG:
But I’ll let you read the remainder of the list by clicking here. You don’t have to be a huge fan of both to get it, but you should be a fan of at least one.
Now that same night, another major item (because Jersey Shore and Final Fantasy are like huge deals) brought to my attention was that these existed:
Or in other words – the Greenland shark.
Now I’d like to list some facts about the Greenland shark, and how they too are similar to the cast of Jersey Shore.
1) Alternate names
- On the Jersey Shore, everybody has an alias, like they’re X-Men or something: Jenni is J-Woww, Nicole is Snooki, Sammi is Sweatheart, and Mike is The Situation.
- The Greenland shark has more even more nicknames: sleeper shark, gurry shark, ground shark, grey shark, or the Inuit name, Eqalussuaq.
- I’m not saying that any of the cast members on Jersey Shore do have crabs, but I’m also not saying that they don’t… You just got double-negatived, which is another way of saying positive. BTW, I’m sure positive is a result this group has seen as on innumerable tests.
- Meanwhile, the Greenland sharks play host to the creature in the picture above (the one on the right, of course). It feasts on the shark’s eye, causing partial blindness. Like syphilis.
- Snooki sure loves her pickles.
- Greenland sharks sure their love fish, seals, reindeer, horses, and polar bears.
4) Toxic skin
- I don’t know components go into fake tan sprays or tan accelerators, and I especially don’t know how much alcohol the cast members of Jersey Shore can actually consume, but if I happened to be on a plane with them and it crash landed in the Alps – I wouldn’t eat them.
- The flesh of the Greenland sharks, on the other fin hand, is officially poisonous. I repeat – THIS SHARK IS POISONOUS. Next you’ll be telling me they have razor-sharp skin, too. (Let it be known, the toxin in their skin does produce an effect akin to extreme drunkenness, so maybe I would eat a Jersey Shore cast member in the Alps.)
- Everyone loves a good story, and sometimes the shorter the better. As for Mike of the Jersey Shore, his legend is straight to the point:
He is The Situation.
- Greenland sharks legends aren’t as concise:
Sedna was a girl whose father cut off her fingers while drowning her. Each finger was said to have become a sea creature, including the Greenland shark. (via Wikipedia)
Now that’s quite a situation.
BONUS THING NOT HELD IN COMMON:
- Greenland sharks can live for up to 200 years long. The cast of Jersey Shore will be forgotten about in five.