Was This Genius Or Was I That Drunk?

Last night was the first time I ever watched Fox’s ADHD (Animation Domination High Definition, I think).  This was the opening:

I was blown away.  It was succinct.  It captured the week’s pop culture highlights.  Including a potential SPOILER.

But I was extremely drunk.  My Detroit Tigers had almost completed a post-season no-hitter against the Boston Red Sox, which was also a 1-0 victory.  I honestly had to have had almost (if not exactly) ten Blue Moons.

So is this brilliant?  Click each day for the relating link:

Let me know what you think in the comments.  I’ll be at the bar.

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JusWondering… Who Knew That Flight Of The Conchords Could Be Improved Upon?

If you’re unfamiliar with the almost award-winning fourth-most-popular folk duo in New Zealand, Flight of the Conchords, then shame on you.  Or should I say lucky you because then here’s your first taste:

Here are the lyrics if you want to print them and sing (?) along:

So, you’re leaving, aren’t you?
I knew it when you said just then when you told me you were leaving
That’s when I definitely knew
But if you’re trying to break my heart
Your plan is flawed from the start
You can’t break my heart, it’s liquid
It melted when I met you
And as you turn around to leave
Don’t’ turn back to me
Don’t turn around and see if I’m crying
I’m not crying
I’m not crying
It’s just been raining on my face
And if you think you see some tear tracks down my face
Please don’t tell my mates
I’m not crying
No, I’m not crying
And if I am crying
It’s not because of you
It’s because I’m thinking of a friend of mine who you don’t know who is dying
That’s right, dying
These aren’t tears of sadness because you’re leaving me
I’ve just been cutting onions
I’m making a lasagna
For one
Oh, I’m not crying
No
There’s just a little bit of dust in my eye
That’s from the path that you made when you said your goodbye
I’m not weeping because you won’t be here to hold my hand
For your information there’s an inflammation in my tear gland
I’m not upset because you left me this way
My eyes are just a little sweaty today
They’ve been searching around
They’re like searching for you
They’ve been looking around
Even though I told them not to
These aren’t tears of sadness
They’re tears of joy
I’m just laughing
Ha ha ha-ha ha
Sitting at this table called love
Staring down at the irony of life
How come we’ve reached this fork in the road
And yet it cuts like a knife?
I’m not crying
I’m not crying
I’m not cry-y-y-y-
-y-y-y-y-ing

And here’s the original for comparison, I guess.  Even though there’s no comparing…

Drunken Recollection… Hotness Scale In The Digital Age

I really wish I could take credit for this idea, but again it was brought up while drinking after soccer.

So the old way of rating a woman (or a dude)’s hotness was on a scale of 1 to 10…  1 being not-so, and 10 being ichiwawa.

In other words, archaic… or analog.

But since we live in the digital age, there should be a new standard for the scale.

“Visual approximation of the future.”

Hence:

THE HOTNESS SCALE FOR THE DIGITAL AGE

1 = YES

0 = NO

You’ll interface or won’t.  DOS that make sense?.

Drunken Recollection… I Couldn’t Wait For Urban Dictionary’s Approval

Where’s the Urban Thesaurus?

As I mentioned in my last post, over some drunken conversation, the subject of dirty slang terms and phrases came up arose happened.  And mind you – women were present and one provided this first term that was not on Urban Dictionary.  I was happy to submit it, but I’m still awaiting their final approval.  You can check for it maybe one day soon, but allow me to present:

  • THUMBERCATS

Thumbercats Ho, indeed.

This second one is an idea I’ve kicked around for a while, so may it one day find infamy on the UD:

  • REDICKULESS

I’m ashamed to admit I created this definition.

InASense, Lost… You Learn Some Dirty New Slang Everday

Nothing beats beers after being beaten at soccer (alliteration!)…  except (thinking you’re) making up new dirty words.

This was going to be a Drunken Recollection of phrases that were thrown around, but most already existed on Urban Dictionary, and two did not.  The ones presented here made me feel InASense, Lost… the other’s should appear in a Drunken Recollection quite soon.

As it is with “pizza” and “cheeseburgers,” it’s hard to find a bad one…

Can’t say the same about this…

Who thinks of this stuff? Oh yeah… drunk people at bars.

U.S.A! U.S.A!

Musical Musings… My Favorite Lonely At The Bar Songs (Not That I Ever Go To The Bar Alone)

I was really trying to buy more time to think of more songs like these, but I needed to share what I have now.  I’ll add more later one day, but these are the songs that make me feel like:

  1. I’m sitting alone at a bar
  2. on a rainy day
  3. feeling introspective
  4. not in a self-loathing type of way
  5. but in a how did I get here and where do I go next type of way
  6. and there’s a band playing one of these songs
  7. regardless of the song’s content
  8. and nobody’s really listening
  9. except me
  • Bob Seger’s Mainstreet
  • The Jeff Healey Band’s Angel Eyes
  • Billy Vera and the Beater’s At This Moment
  • Dan Fogelberg’s Same Old Lang’s Syne

That’s enough of me being cheesy today.  You’re probably thinking:

Thank Gouda