Math is fun (yeah, right).  And as I’ve mentioned before, drinking math is not.

So today, I’m just going to lay out some basic numbers when it comes to me and my imbibing.

• Number of miles that I’m able to handle a hangover: 21.44
• Maximum number of hours I can handle working: 6.5
• Maximum number of hours I can handle drinking: 8
• Percentage of beer left in bottle before I order next bottle: 50
• Number of days per week I’m at the bar: 4
• Number of days per weekend I’m at the bar: 1
• Average time I should stay at each bar on St. Patrick’s Day: 2
• Amount of bars I would like to visit on St. Patrick’s Day: 6
• Amount of bars I will actually visit on St. Patrick’s Day: 3, tops

Also, here’s a chart I made based on many experiences:

Demetri Martin eat your Cheesy Double Beef Burrito out!