Director Kevin Smith recently announced he was returning to Detroit for one of his Q&A fests, and tickets in “the good seats” are going for $75.  This increases the chance that you can actually A one Q, but is $75 worth it?  On a lucky day, you might be able to get Smith to respond to an inquiry on Twitter, and that’s free.  Besides, would I even have a question that wouldn’t be embarrassing to ask?

My wondering:

Mr. Smith, do you consider yourself a capable director?  Like, could you ever direct a high-minded, genre piece, worthy of an Academy Award nomination?  (SIDENOTE: I threw in the filler word “like” to simulate a Pulitzer Prize nomination worthy question… y’know, to like make it real.)

This got me wondering… who else would I pay $75 to ask a question?

Barack Obama, Steven Spielberg, George W. Bush, George Lucas?

Sure.  Each one of them would get a humdinger of a wringer”, but who would I pay more than $75 to get to the bottom of things?  Probably just one:

 

My one-part quiz:

Ms. Fey, can I write for your show?  Here’s a sample of my ability, and it happened In My Brain While Sleeping…

 

*Here’s the others:

• President Obama, do you believe in the Prime Directive?  Is that dictating your actions?
• Mr. Spielberg, just why?  A refrigerator?  An army of monkeys?  Seriously!
• President Bush, wanna play some Frogger?
• Mr. Lucas… will there be Episodes VII through IX, as they could save Star Wars?  Otherwise, fuck you.