InASense, Lost… Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken

This product was announced last week, and although it doesn’t make me feel as weak as Fetish Tots did, it still borders “What-the-Fuck-is-Mattel-Thinking?” Ville, therefore still rendering me InASense, Lost.

The “toy” goes bi by this official name: Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken.  They might have well placed the word Super in there, too.

palm_beach_sugar_daddy_ken

The dog's name is Sugar, and Ken is his "daddy"... none of this is helping...

Mattel claims that it’s a part of their adult toy line, which I 100% believe.  And it’s not like the neutered doll was ever a hero of mine, like how G.I. Joe’s Shipwreck or Star Wars’ (duh) Luke Skywalker were (pictured below).

 

shipwreck_gi_joe

A Real American Hetero!

luke_skywalker_tank

It's not a bath in the "traditional" sense...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But this fact remains: it gives me the Malibu Dream Heebie Jeebies.  The last time I felt this weird and twisted inside because of a toy was when I learned that Dr. Claw (the unseen bad guy in Inspector Gadget) looked like this:

dr_claw

Come to think of it, he had MAD Cat as a pet, so he was MAD Car's "daddy". And his hair looks fabulous... Perhaps Ken could give him a ring sometime? Perhaps.