InASense, Lost… Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken

This product was announced last week, and although it doesn’t make me feel as weak as Fetish Tots did, it still borders “What-the-Fuck-is-Mattel-Thinking?” Ville, therefore still rendering me InASense, Lost.

The “toy” goes bi by this official name: Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken.  They might have well placed the word Super in there, too.


The dog's name is Sugar, and Ken is his "daddy"... none of this is helping...

Mattel claims that it’s a part of their adult toy line, which I 100% believe.  And it’s not like the neutered doll was ever a hero of mine, like how G.I. Joe’s Shipwreck or Star Wars’ (duh) Luke Skywalker were (pictured below).



A Real American Hetero!


It's not a bath in the "traditional" sense...











But this fact remains: it gives me the Malibu Dream Heebie Jeebies.  The last time I felt this weird and twisted inside because of a toy was when I learned that Dr. Claw (the unseen bad guy in Inspector Gadget) looked like this:


Come to think of it, he had MAD Cat as a pet, so he was MAD Car's "daddy". And his hair looks fabulous... Perhaps Ken could give him a ring sometime? Perhaps.


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