InASense Lost | monkeyBLOG monkeyDO

This Has To Be A Recipe For Disaster

Posted on October 27, 2013 by sgottahurt

I would have sworn that Amazon was not new to the TripleDoubleU, but apparently hiding in their warehouses, there isn’t a single pervert to be found.

Scratch that. That’s exactly where they’re to be found.

It’s the head honchos and the hardware and software developers that didn’t think this Mayday Button through:

Haven’t they ever heard (even a whisper) of ChatRoulette? Those poor workers at Kindle support are in for a surprise. But then again, maybe pervs don’t own Kindles. Hopefully that doesn’t turn out to mean:

NOT OWNING KINDLE = PERVERT

Because then I’d need to go buy a Kindle. But if I bought a Kindle now, after having this idea, I’d look like a perv. Maybe I’ll just FaceTime a stranger for their openis– er, opinion!

InASense, Lost… I Always Feel Bad When This Happens

Posted on March 27, 2013 by sgottahurt

I regularly watch Conan on TBS mostly out of guilt for not watching him regularly on The Tonight Show before he got shit-canned from NBC. But that feeling of unease cannot compare to the stomach flip I feel when someone disses Andy Richter, like comedian Nick Thune did during this appearance on the show (it happens at about the 5:30 mark):

What’s wrong with the world? Why can’t people just be polite?! It takes minimum time and provides maximum comfort. If people could only rectify their wrongs– wait, Nick Thune did what?

Click image for what happened next.

InASense, Lost… Scrotum If You Got ‘Em

Posted on January 28, 2013 by sgottahurt

As a brand new uncle to a brand new nephew, I cannot approve of this nutty toy line:

Perhaps my mind is too far in the gutter~~balls~~. What a bunch of junk.

InASense, Lost… Holy Crap! Or, These Toys Piss Me Off!

Posted on December 3, 2012 by sgottahurt

I’ll admit it. I watch Cartoon Network. That’s where I catch all the latest Clone Wars episodes (not for much longer, though).

It’s also where I catch-up on the latest and greatest toy offerings. Of all the dumb things I’ve seen, I couldn’t believe that this (post from two years ago) has officially made its way here:

What’s next?

This toy from Britain?

Or this one from 1991?

(SIDENOTE: Wow. That song is not catchy at all.)

InASense, Lost… What Lesson Am I Supposed To Learn Here?

Posted on September 12, 2012 by sgottahurt

I always thought the saying went as such:

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

But then again, they also always say:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

So am I insane, or are they barely trying here?

A movie about guys with kids starring Anthony Anderson.

(SIDENOTE: The above is a 2004 film that received a 4% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes.)

A television show about baby daddies starring Anthony Anderson.

(SIDENOTE: The above NBC show received a 38% approval rating. For NBC, that’s a hit!)

InASense, Lost… My Old Dreams

Posted on July 27, 2012 by sgottahurt

Growing up, I wanted to be Luke Skywalker (not Han Solo), Indiana Jones, and Steven Spielberg. How much has changed since then?

Not since I watched all the James Bond films in my early-30’s and reconsidered my lifelong attachment to Star Wars, have I wished for a new childhood dream:

I WISH I WANTED TO BE AN OLYMPIAN.

Olympic Village sex parties? Why would anyone want to re-evaluate their life and wish to be a part of that?

InASense, Lost… You Learn Some Dirty New Slang Everday

Posted on June 14, 2012 by sgottahurt

Nothing beats beers after being beaten at soccer (alliteration!)… except (thinking you’re) making up new dirty words.

This was going to be a Drunken Recollection of phrases that were thrown around, but most already existed on Urban Dictionary, and two did not. The ones presented here made me feel InASense, Lost… the other’s should appear in a Drunken Recollection quite soon.

FAILATIO

As it is with “pizza” and “cheeseburgers,” it’s hard to find a bad one…

CANTILINGUS

Can’t say the same about this…

COLORADO THUNDERSTORM

Who thinks of this stuff? Oh yeah… drunk people at bars.

RINGS DON’T PLUG HOLES

U.S.A! U.S.A!

InASense, Lost… Taylor Kitsch’s Film Career

Posted on May 17, 2012 by sgottahurt

All I have to say is in the post’s title. Taylor Kitsch has three strikes against him now… and I’m afraid his Hollywood future might be D.O.A.

It’s bad when Wolverine is the best of the three.

But on the other hand, he is Canadian, and they have that certain William Shatner resilience. So perhaps he can forget John Carter in his shadow, and leave Battleship behind him: