You may already be in luck.  One of these is currently available for viewing on Netflix.  Remember… if you don’t have Netflix, you got Netdix™.  That’s their new slogan.

Anyhulu, on with this Unofficial Trilogy of Movies You Will Likely Never See.

• Tough Guys (1986)

In the 80’s, I  was a Touchstone Pictures junkie.  (They were Disney’s adult-fare division).  Anything they released, I would eventually see on DVD VHS.  Most were enjoyable, some were forgettable, and films like this one are long-lost.  (Click the Touchstone link to see an impressive list of hits.)

Tough Guys is basically about two old (tough) guys that finally get released from prison and “will they or won’t they?” integrate into the modern world.  Imagine if Brooks Hatlen, the old librarian with the bird in Shawshank Redemption, did the opposite of what he did… that’s this movie.

• The Experts (1989)

This film is where John Travolta found his beard true love, the exquisite Kelly Preston.  Upon seeing this film again on Netflix (damn there goes the secret), my old-school crush on one of the most beautiful women to ever exist was reignited.

Essentially, the USSR has built a dummy American town that’s styled like the 1950’s.  So they bring in Travolta and Arye Gross (remember him on Ellen?) to build a nightclub and unknowingly teach the spies how to live in the (then) present.  It’s dumb, but it’s fun.

• Run (1991)

Hollywood Pictures was another off-shoot from Disney, but it was nowhere near as successful as Touchstone.  Nonetheless, I still sought their films out, and this was their third release (Arachnophobia was their first).

This picture was made after Patrick Dempsey learned you could in fact buy love (that was the lesson, right?), but long before he was McDreamy, Dreamy King, or even Dreamy Castle.  And again, here we have my dear, sweet Kelly Preston co-starring.  In a word, this movie is about what the title is.  Not as in a marathon, but as in for your life.