I’ve searched, and I’ve searched, and I’ve searched for some things on the web that I thought I would never find.

Two such misses, and one hit:

1) There was a radio ad for Orange Crush that was so ridiculous it would be redonkulous.  In it, two terrible voice actors try to sound like hip high-schoolers, and these things happen:

• They both talk about watching one of their moms work out
• They refer to Orange Crush as OC
• The friend hints that he wants to bang his friend’s mom

And that’s just the tip of the slimy iceberg, written in the corporate Poochie kind of thinking.  Fitness MILF’s – check.  Slang terms – check.  Dumb sounding high schoolers – check…  

Every time I heard it, I wished I had a quicker record feature on my phone, or that my blog was famous so I could sic my fans on the TripleDoubleU to track this down.  

2) There’s a local plastic surgeon that had a fantastic commercial on TV for a while.  In it, the announcer explained all the feats he was capable of performing, and the camera zoomed in and swirled around him and his folded arms.  He nodded his head at each accomplishment in complete amazement and agreement.  The best part – he was floating in the sky.But alas, he has one TV ad on his website, and this one it ain’t.

3) This one I found.  Even though it’s heart is in the right place, the show’s format would make Tim and Eric jealous.  It’s entitled K.E.Y.S. Kids, and it is a low-budget trip fest.  To begin, K.E.Y.S. is an acronym for Kids Enjoy Your Selves, which basically makes the full title Kids Enjoy Your Selves Kids.

You must check out the opening of the show, available at the bottom of this page.  When I was a kid, this was the local offering:

Well, I guess that’s just as trippy…

(Orange Crush doodle via The Jlog)