JusWondering… Why I Have Zero Interest In “Green Zone”

As I mentioned a couple posts ago, I haven’t been to the theater since Avatar(d).  That’s mostly because of the recent slew of crappy movies (okay, Shutter Island may be an exception, but it’s reviews are certainly polarized).

We are quickly embarking on the spring releases, and one at the top of that list is the Jason Bourne, er, I mean, Matt Damon vehicle, Green Zone.  And I have zero interest in it, but it’s not for the reason you may think.

As for Actor! Matt Damon – I don’t mind him.

  • His role in Ocean’s 11, 12, and 13 bought him a lot of leeway, much like how Kiefer Sutherland did with 24.  I still can’t help but think of this when I look at him:
  • But to his credit, he was awesome in EuroTrip:

So is my problem with screenwriter Brian Helgeland?  Nope.

  • He has a free pass forever because of L.A. Confidential.  Hands down – if I could have written that script, I would have quit writing upon its completion.  And it’s not like I haven’t also enjoyed some of his other works.  Besides, his record is definitely less spotty than competent hacks David Koepp and Eric Roth.

Then it’s director Paul Greengrass, right?  Wrong.

  • I still have not seen Bourne Supremacy and Bourne Ultimatum, but I’ve heard great things about them.  On the other hand, United 93 reeked of propaganda, so I avoided it.  There is a political aspect to Green Zone, but that’s not turning me away.

Then what’s the deal?  Is it the title?  As a matter of fact – yes.

  • It’s not like I have anything against the word green (FYI: it’s also a color).  As a kid, I recall having a giant-sized coloring book about a guy that hated the Incredible Hulk, solely because he was green.  That is not what’s going on with me, even though I do associate green with environmental issues, money, boogers, and the vomiting scene in The Exorcist.

"Matt Damon!"

  • And it’s not like movies with green in the title have been bad: Soylent Green, Green Street Hooligans, The Green Mile, and the upcoming Green Lantern.
  • It all has to deal with 30 Rock, David Schwimmer, and this character: