As big a fan as I am of the nostalgia provided by the 80’s, there is a pretty sunny darkside to the fonder memories. Prime example: Juice Newton’s “Love’s Been a Little Hard on Me.”
Sounds a little bit like some rodents I used to know:
And not to completely wring Juice of having any nostalgic value, she’ll always be my “Angel of the Morning.”
Necessity is often credited as the mother of invention. Allow me to add alcohol-induced dreams as another mother.
FIRST INVENTION: ROCK RIGGER
One four awl!
Why drag bulldozers, dump trucks, and cranes to a house about to be torn down, when you can pull up with a ROCK RIGGER! The Rock Rigger comes equipped with a drill on its crane, which neatly ploughs through a diliapidated home’s roof (and if there’s no roof – even better!) Next, rocks, stones, concrete… whatever’s in the hauling bed, move up the crane’s conveyor belt to be spilled into the second floor. Once filled, the Rock Rigger backs away and waits. And waits. And after waiting awhile, the home should collapse under its weight, and voila! No more house! (BTW, the crushed houses looked awesome in my dream.) Then you’d bring in the other vehicles for clean up… it’s so simple!
SECOND INVENTION: EYE IN THE SKY
It's like a dream! (It was a dream!)
With nanotechnology (or some other smart sounding thing nobody really understands yet), the EYE IN THE SKY will allow the user to access a plethora of entertainment and general use options… in your brain! Stare into the heavens – or at a wall – and select with a point of your finger whatever application may suit your needs. Via the enhanced contact lenses in your eyes, menu options will appear for phone, GPS, music, and more! (WARNING: Do not use when driving, walking, sleeping, eating, swimming, dancing, typing, shooting, or throwing, as it may cause nausea or interference. Most definitely will cause headaches.)
INGREDIENTS: An early Burger King feast, followed by buckets of Miller Lite
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