Some girl named Emmeline made this a few years back in Windows Movie Maker, so the quality isn’t perfect, but it’s a hoot nonetheless. I had no idea MerMan was so talented.
Check out this commercial (only watch first part or else your head may quite actually explode):
Now check out me:
Unless all kids looked the same back in the day… I was pretty good friends with Marzon.
Now it’s not like I haven’t acted before. As I state in my Fact Sheet above, I was in Billy Crystal’s HBO meh-fest, “61*.” Here’s a couple shots of me acting my chops out:
An opportunity recently presented itself to me, here in Michigan. My talents are wanted yet again:
We are looking for a Hand double for Adrien Brody’s hand.
If interested and available. please send a photo of your hand with your fingers spread apart on a flat surface.
Filming is in Howell, MI. Rate is $120.00 for 8 hours and overtime after 8.
Please include your name and phone number in your reply email. Please also provide your ring size if you know it.
All right… I’ll admit that it wasn’t sent directly to me, but I know my hands can do it. They’re very good actors – trust me. Hey, Marzon was a prima donna, and Mantle’s grandson forced me to feign excitement, like, six times.
How difficult would it be to play Adrien Brody’s hands? My hands can check the time. Flip the pages of a book. Type. Make a sandwich. Hold things. Drop things. Throw things. Flick things. Pet a co-star’s head. I guess they could even caress a co-star’s breast, if needed. *wink*wink* (Although, I should double-check who’s in it.) They can do anything! (Except gut a fish. Please don’t make them gut a fish. Or hook a worm. I have bad memories from my pimping days…)
There’s a cool website out there called Garfield Minus Garfield, which takes Garfield out of his eponymous uncool strip. The orginal is by Jim Davis; the reinvention is by Dan Walsh. Sample:
So I started thinking… since Garfield was unemployed, what if he took on roles in other comic strips?
(NOTE: I planned on making more, but these were quite timing comsuming for a lazy person like me.)
(Original source comics after jump)
It is Thanksgiving and what better day to give thanks to the greatest gift of all… beer. And not just any beer – all beers (which I guess technically is any beer… no, any is not all-inclusive… you almost got me, inner dialogue… but doesn’t dialogue suggests two… do I have two voices in my head?)
Anyhasenfefferincorporated, back to the beer. I was thinking about my early days of drinking, and how my initial inclination toward “better tasting drinks” shifted toward “cheaper drinks.”
In the early Canada/Impress-Hooters-Waitresses phase, I was all about Labatt Blue. As I immatured, the pocketbook gave way to Bud Light. (“So you’re telling me Labatt’s a buck more because it’s imported? From Canada? Which is next door to Detroit?”) Then as my friends’ digestive systems could no longer tolerate BL, we’ve since moved onto Miller Lite. (I’m a stalwart trailblazer that bucks the trends and divines my own path!)
Truth is, my beer is whatever’s on special that night. Corona, American Ale, PBR, Michelob, Coors – no pickiness here. It’s probably the only thing I’m not picky about, and for that I’m the most thankful of all.
Today must be 80’s day, and for that I’m extremely thankful. The word through the pipelines that is the TripleDoubleU is Steve Guttenberg, Ted Danson, and Tom Selleck are in talks to reunite and finally complete the “Three Men and a…” Trilogy.
According to Guttenberg:
It’s called “Three Men and A Bride.” The script is pretty much written and we are really keen to get that made. We’re very hopeful. (via IMDb)
They’re very hopeful?! I’m fucking-on-the-edge-of-my-seat hopeful. I’m I’ll-go-without-shitting-until-this-thing-is-released hopeful. I’m on pins and needles that have herpes and syphilis and AIDS on them serious. I’ve been literally dying to know what’s been going on in Michael, Jack, and Peter’s life since the last movie. Um, didn’t someone get married to somebody in that one? Wasn’t there some sheep in the road gag that held the wedding up? And where did that ghost from the first one go? Was he friendly or evil, or simply lonely? Will the two non-dads hit on the third pal’s daughter who will no doubt be hot and legal?
I’ve been waiting for a star to fall, and since pretty much all three of the leads’ stars have dropped*, I’m all for this belated sequel. With the bar set low by “Indiana Jones 4,” this flick should be a masterpiece. (And there’s rumors about another “Police Academy.” Aieeeeee!)
*Becker did all right by himself and with some help from Larry David, but sadly and wrongly, Magnum has not fared as well. The Gute did do a stint on “Dancing with the Stars,” but he also runs naked through Central Park.
I can say nothing better than what’s to follow.
Lyrics from “Team America: World Police” song, Montage:
The hours approaching, just give it your best You've got to reach your prime. That’s when you need to put yourself to the test, And show us a passage of time, We're gonna need a montage (montage) Oh it takes a montage (montage) Show a lot of things happing at once, Remind everyone of what’s going on (what’s going on?) And with every shot you show a little improvement To show it all would take to long That’s called a montage (montage) Oh we want montage (montage) And anything that we want to go from just a beginner to a pro, You need a montage (montage) Even Rocky had a montage (montage) (Montage…montage) Anything that we want to go from just a beginner to a pro, You need a montage (montage) Oh it takes a montage (montage) Always fade out in a montage, If you fade out, it seem like more time Has passed in a montage, Montage
Video from Funny or Die: