Detroit Fire Sale! (Wait, It’s Not Devil’s Night Yet)

In further celebration of Kwame’s lockup, I decided it was time to do some Detroit themed shopping.

First on the market – how about a new house?

I swear it's in the D

I swear it is in the DLocated in Detroit's Indian Village, it's going for just over $550,000 dollars. Don't have a half million? How about this fixer upper:Ah... that seems about right

It’s not quite $1 (this beaut’s going for $100).  If you still can’t gather the change and fall just a bit shy, you could always go with a nice “Made in Detroit” jacket, on sale NOW for $90…
I want one

I want one

…or if Jefferson didn’t quite make it into a Franklin, Detroit’s own Kid Rock has created a scholarship fund for music students going to Wayne State University (Motor City Rocks – but not the same way as Gary Busey R.O.C.K.S).  You can help out by picking up this shirt on sale for $18:
Wrinkles included

Wrinkles included

Okay then… I’m running out of deals.  Um, ah, this should do.  Who could pass this up?
A mugshot mug... genious!
A mugshot mug… genius!

Only $9.99 here.

Act now and get this bonus article from The Onion!

It’s So Cold In 14J-4

Today disgraced Detroit mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, begins his 120-day jail sentence here (from the Freep):

Home sweet oh please get me outta here!
Oh no! Not graffiti on the mirror!

Considering I’m an actual citizen of Detroit, and since I’m technically paying for his stay with my tax dollars (I think I am – I really don’t know much about things like that), I suggest we do this: play this song on loop the entire four months.