This Guy Will Ruin Theme Songs For You Forever

Okay, so maybe not so much ruin them… But just as the dog’s mouth watered whenever Pavlov rang that bell, you will not NOT think of the words to these wordless scores ever again.  You’ve been warned…

Oh, and Happy Angel’s Night (says the guy who has to stay home and guard his house like he’s Kevin McCallister on Christmas).

His Jaws and Indy parodies are just as wicked.

JusWondering… My Owl Irks

Hooters, The Restaurant, much like The Owl it’s “based” on, is here to stay.  (Well, I guess it depends on which owl species, but I digress.)

Also like The Owl, The Restaurant isn’t as cool as it used to be.  “Hey look!  That owl can turn his head all the way around, almost!”

Upon my recent visit, it occurred to me why I don’t go there as often as I had in my youth.  (Okay, it happened to be my second visit this week.  We went for a “change of pace” on Monday, and they informed us that Thursday was Buy One Boneless Wing Get One Free Day, and that Friday everyone was dressing up for Halloween…  I’ll let you know how it goes.)

Anywow, the reason Hooters has lost its luster, for me at least, is the gimmicky things that they still insist on doing.  My Pet Peeves AKA My Owl Irks are as follows:

1) Ladies, don’t write your name on the napkins.  Don’t sign it with a heart.  Don’t googily goo it up with your real name and your nickname.  You can do this on the receipt, though.  It doesn’t affect me the same.
2) Shit-can the birthday song.  Unless it’s for a twelve year old boy (“Hey look!  That owl tried to scoop up that wiener dog cuz he thought it was a squirrel!”), this routine simply puts a spotlight on the biggest douche-bag in the restaurant.  The only other exception – friends trying to embarrass a buddy.

3) I can open my own containers.  Be it A-1 Steak Sauce or a tub of ranch, I can handle unscrewing and ripping just fine.  I often unscrew by myself and rip ones at home – wait, that doesn’t sound right.

4) The ketchup faces must stop.  Stop.  Seriously.  Explaining that the face is “hungover” helps no one keep their dignity.

5) If I want merchandise, I will ask you.  Isn’t it enough you talked me into curly fries?  What am I made of – money?  The calendar’s on sale, you say… And there’s not a single house pet?

6) Hula hooping your boredom away makes me bored.  How about sword fighting?  Perchance arm-wrestling?  Maybe arm-wrestling with oil in a pool with full body contact?

7) We’re not buying that you like us if you sit with us.  I do buy that you like me if you feed me a french fry.  (This happened to me once… I had no follow up so nyeh.)

8) You charged me for a potato salad that’s your lunch?   Well, there goes $1 off your 30% tip.

The Good And The Bad Ugly

Here’s a quick one minute lesson…

Good Commercial:

(Reminds me of how my sister, Tammie, would spit her food in napkins and run to the bathroom to get rid of it when she was a kid… as an adult, she just spreads it out on her plate and yells, “All done!”)

Bad Ugly Commercial:

(This @#$% earworm makes me want to put a fork in my eyes and pull it out my ears!  Such rage!)

Happy Find… ChaCha

I must have been living under a rock (that rock being my huge non-camera having cell phone), because I only just discovered ChaCha (actually my bro did, and he passed the word onto me).

If you don’t know what ChaCha is, I’m not going to tell you.  You’ll have to send a text message to 242242, and ask “What is ChaCha?”

Basically, it’s like OnStar via text messaging, and it’s quite frankly awesome, considering how much Google text sucks.  (Sure, it may not reach the levels attained by Internet phones, but it’s saving me an extra $30 a month).

Some examples of ChaCha interactions:

Q: Which came first – Facebook or MySpace?
A: MySpace launched in August of 2003 and Facebook was founded on February 4, 2004. MySpace was first… based off of Friendster.

Q: How does ChaCha make money as a company?
A: Through strategic partnerships and advertising campaigns such as the Obama ad.

Q: How much is Tiny Toons Season 1 DVD at
A: It is $30.89 with free shipping.

Q: What is your favorite article on
A: My favorite article is “It’s So Cold in 14J-4.”

I think they might have a new favorite now. And golly gee, so do I.