Come Get Yer Sexy Costume Challenge Right Here!

Update: My sister, Becky, helped me “uncover” one other toy.

With Halloween upon us, I feel it is my civic duty to challenge any or all of you ladies out there that are: A) creative and B) like to… sexy it up… (I was going to put “slutty it up,” but here I did anyway.)

Now let it be known, I’m all about nostalgia, and in addition to that, I’m for the sexification/sluttification of said nostalgia.  I mean, isn’t that what Halloween is all about anyway… in a non-nostalgic way?  (Maybe regular candy has evolved into eye candy.)

But here’s the challenge: we’ve all seen the Strawberry Shortcakes, Rainbow Brites, She-Ras, and Jems.  I still have a fondness for Jabba Palace Leia (especially when there’s a bunch of them pillow fighting), and kudos to those ladies that work wonders as a Care Bear (whodathunk Grumpy could look cheery).  What follows are my suggestions… my outside-the-(cardboard)-box starters, if you will.

To begin: how about Herself the Elf?

Herself Shortcake
Full name: Herself Shortcake

Sure, she’s not too unlike any other fairies (goth girls, whut-whut!), but no one is going around proclaiming, “I’m Herself the Elf!”  Another idea (and in this line there are plenty of options) – what about a Charmkin?

Mmm... bendy

Mmm... bendy

The bulk of the costume would be standard fare, but the kicker is the ring on your head with a giant charm necklace going through it.  Can you imagine that?  How about Blinkins?

I wanna say something about curtains and carpets...

I wanna say something about curtains and carpets...

No pants and a light up bottom?  If that’s a no-go, then let’s go with the girl’s version of Transformers (or maybe more-so GoBots) – Sweet Secrets.

The secret is these toys suck.

The secret is these toys suck.

You could even go as far as these guys and make your shell open up so you can hide inside.  Another great venture would be the alternative to the two-man horse… the two woman My Little Pony.  (Argue over whom gets which end!)

My Little Hair Brush

Also pictured: My Little Hair Brush

My last idea is by far not the least.  My final challenge (and if anyone pulls this off send me pics) – Alf’s Melmacian lost love, Rhonda.  I’ll leave the details to you.

Rhonda is the alien that's not ALF
Rhonda is the alien on the right
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Three Things I Learned At The Lions Game

I’m a glutton for punishment.  Yes, I went to watch the Lions take on the Redskins at Ford Field.  Yes, I’m even going to Chicago next weekend to see them battle the Bears.  And why, you ask?

I could be lame and say – beer.  I could be lamer and say – the ladies.  It’s sure not the boys in blue and silver (and dammit if they didn’t get my hopes up again!)

It’s for the things you can learn when you least expect it.  So now I present to you, three things I learned at the Detroit Lions game:

1) You can make plastic out of plants.  You read that right.  And where did I stumble upon this discovery?  My beer cup.  The best part about the company that makes the plant-plastic cups?  Their website is F-K.

2) The Detroit Lions Pet Calendar is not a derogatory euphamism calendar.  A sale can be a powerful, um, selling tool.  At $10 a pop (for the calendar, not a soda… though that price is close), I considered getting one.  If I had, this is a sample of what I would have found.

3) Pornology would make a great name for a website.  But alas, it has already been taken, and not for any good use.  When my buddy, Jay, mispronounced the root word, I swore if the domain name was available, I’d be making a career switch.

Ah, the Power of Beer in a plastic cup made from plants..