You may not have ever heard of Lukasz Gottwald, a.k.a. Dr. Luke, a.k.a. DJ Douche (not really), but you’ve certainly heard his work.

But I’m not here to celebrate him (if you can already tell), but to tell-all and make you aware of the source of his “artistry” as a writer and producer.

The latest is a minor tussle over whether Britney Spears’ new song, Hold It Against Me, rips off The Bellamy Brothers’ If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body.  In this case, I say no (as do others), but it’s not the first time good ol’ Dr. Luke’s skillz have been called into question.

• Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend / The Rubinoos’ I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

• Daughtry’s Feels Like Tonight / The Asphalt’s Tonight

If you skip to the 1:04 mark, you’ll notice the chorus is awfully similar to this.  Read more about this one here.

• Pink’s U + Ur Hand / The Veronicas’ 4ever
• Ke$ha’s Tik Tok / Katy Perry’ California Gurls

He’s not even above ripping himself off.  And Justin and Jessica Q. Public still lap it up.

Sure, there’s plenty more originals in his repertoire than copies – even a few that I like – but something has to be done to stop this mad man.  Never forget he allowed THIS to happen.

IN CLOSING:

I realize that Dr. Luke’s not going anywhere anytime soon.  Let’s just call him disappearing from the music scene my Teenage Dream.  He is who he is, and We R Who We R.  Not even Magic nor Dynamite could get rid of him.  We could go Right Round in circles as the hours Tik Tok away, but ultimately I guess he’s here For Your Entertainment, and not mine.

It’s not like I’m Your Daddy or anything, but I want you to know that I’ll Keep Holding On to the notion that I know what’s best for you. Who Knew any of this would be such a big deal?  Behind These Hazel Eyes (they really are hazel) is a man who respects the arts and thinks that stealing (“liberally borrowing“) without acknowledging it is wrong.

I just fear that one day, when Dr. Luke is no longer practicing his medicine, I won’t find myself saying, “Since U Been Gone, My Life Would Suck Without You.”  Or something akin to that.  Does that come across as fickle?  A little con then pro, nay then yay, Hot N Cold?  Maybe.  But if I finally admit today that his music’s not all that bad, Feels Like Tonight might be the night I finally say, “I Kissed a Girl.”

And hopefully that same girl won’t notice my toupée and say, “Take It Off…”