All I Want For Christmas Is… This!
I feel fuzzy that this one is a no-brainer. It’s available from ThinkGeek and…
"Tauntauns roasting on an open fire..."
Awww… gawdammit! It’s the stupid Wampa Rug that’s for sale…
Month: December 2010
All I Want For Christmas Is… Word Lens!
How fucking cool is this:
I don’t know how well it works, but I want it. And it’s free. And it’s available now.
But you might be wondering this:
Why don’t you just download it now for free and test it out?
Well that’s because I can’t, you idiot, otherwise I would. I still have an iPhone 3G, and I need at least a 3GS. So I need to upgrade my phone to 4 in order to try it out before my trip to Prague.
So I guess what I’m really saying is:
All I Want For Christmas Is… An iPhone 4!
All I Want For Christmas Is… A Yellow-Naped Amazon!
I bet you’re wondering… what is a Yellow-Naped Amazon? Unless you’re an ornithologist, of course.
Essentially, it’s a mimicking parrot that can, well, here’s an example of how skilled they can be:
Imagine the things I could teach one! Really, go ahead and imagine! ‘Cuz I don’t feel like it!
Hibbidy-Wah?! Why Were Jokes Cut From The DVD?
How could he keep from kissing her? Aside from lawsuits anyway.
This, my dear friends, is the tale of me embarking upon a slippery slope. I do have my defense at the ready as to why I would remember such a small detail, and I do have proof. It’s been a while since I’ve jumped into the rabbit hole, and I think I’ve missed hanging out in the dirt.
AnyGreendale, I’ve been watching the first season of Community on DVD and I’ve noticed something that’s alarmed me. There are actual jokes missing that made it to air but the digital disc. In a world where uncut DVD’s are the norm, why is this show the exception!
The one I noticed for 100% sure happened in the beginning of the episode Social Psychology. I know this for two reasons (besides this proof I’ve found), which I’ll get to after the proof. This line, listed in AV Club’s review of the ep, is not on the DVD release:
You’re an eight, which is a British 10.
You can see it in action here:
Now how did I remember this independent of my research?
- Community is one of the few shows I watch more than once on my DVR (this, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and Delocated).
- I like Alison Brie. And I thought her various “Oh’s” were brilliantly executed.
And it’s not the only bit trimmed. This is from a review site’s thread (video proof here):
My only gripe with this release: One episode is cut down from the TV version. Chang’s opening scene (where he puts his face right into Annie’s and calls her “Princess Gringa”) is gone, and so is a couple of really funny lines from John Oliver (who was barely in the show as it is!).
All I Want For Christmas Is… To Know Why!?
Drunken Recollection… If The Rolling Stones Never Existed
It’s not like I’m a huge fan of The Beatles and think their shit doesn’t stink (a dung Beatle, if you will), but you cannot deny the fact that they have had a major impact on pop culture.
On the other hand, one night over more than a few brews, I decided that The Rolling Stones could have “not” existed, and we wouldn’t be missing much.
Sure, this Saturday Night Live skit would have never existed:
And there would have been no Paint It Black for The Doors to cover. Wait, the version I thought was Jim Morrison and crew was Mick Jagger and crew?
Well, there would have been no Wild Horses for The Sundays to cover at least (and to be honest, we probably could have lived without this one):
And lastly, who would Johnny Depp have based his Captain Jack Sparrow on other than Keith Richards?
This is the cleanest they've EVER looked.
My list of other rockers he could have based the pirate on:
- John Lennon (quiet, contemplative, bespectacled)
- Paul McCartney (smarmy, polite, vegetarian)
- Ringo Starr (drummer)
- Meat Loaf (this could have really worked)
Bitch Tits himself.
And with that, the argument discussion ended.
After all was said and done, I really wanted to hear this song for some reason, and did you know the B-52’s Love Shack lyric
Tin roof – rusted!
means pregnant, and not on her period? You’re welcome.
In My Brain While Sleeping… The Reason Why Disney Bought Marvel Comics
I don’t know why I ever feel compelled to proclaim how strange a dream is when I’m revealing it either way.
One handed drum roll please:
It became apparently clear to me in My Brain While Sleeping why The Walt Disney Company gobbled up Marvel Comics (aside from the fact they wanted another marketing outlet comparable to Time Warner’s hold on DC Comics, as well as supplying the much-needed financial backing a major corporation could give the flailing superhero imprint… whew).
The entire reason could be summed up in this crappily made picture:
(Not So) Artistic Representation
You see, upon leaving Disney/ABC’s Home Improvement, best child star Jonathan Taylor Thomas left to star in the unreleased film, Machine Boy. Realizing a bit too late into production that they had an Iron Man ripoff on their hands (and a clunker to boot – puns intended), Disney shelved the movie fearing lawsuits of copyright infringement. But worry no more! As soon as they could, the little old lady that swallowed the (Mickey) mouse swallowed the spider (man), and you heard it here first:
WALT DISNEY and MARVEL COMICS proudly present
MACHINE BOY
JUNE 2011
A Handful Of… Commercials That Make Me Want To Punch Santa
Christmas time is here, and so are mother fucking annoying commercials.
To begrudgingly begin, this ad from Verizon is way more annoying in its condensed radio form, but you can get the gist of it from this tube promo. Whoever thought of taking Madness’ Our House and turning it into a hybrid holiday ditty featuring British-sounding hooligans should be run over by Santa’s sleigh. That rusty ol’ magical blade right over their carotid artery would make my mistletoes tingle:
This one isn’t as holiday apparent, but it’s still hawking phones. Who gives telecommunication devices as gifts? Who puts some song that sounds like it’s sung by Lisa Simpson in their ad?
This one is off the radio, and it boils my blood like I’d been in a microwave. It makes absolutely no sense, because not one bit of it ties together. I’m sorry that I can’t get any angrier. I feel dead inside:
I also wanted to mention that although I don’t mind Doug Benson most of the time, commercials for his new show, The Benson Interruption, drive me up the wall. There are no videos online for me to share, so I made this instead:
InASense, Lost… What Disturbs Me More?
I was all prepared to do a whole diatribe about this racist Duncan Hines cupcakes ad, but then I realized that site already did it justice (although not much funny).
Also… I found that this disturbed me more:
After watching, I’m sure a lot of people might be inclined to say:
Of course it’s German!
But then I realized these toys came from America and suddenly, clay-pooping dachshunds don’t seem so bad.
As for Duncan Hines – they still have mud on their face. (There was probably a better way to say that.)
Worth 1002 Words… Thank You For Being A Jedi Edition
Happy Find… Sweded Mutant Ninja Turtles
The concept of “Sweding a film” may no longer be in vogue, much like saying whether or not something is in vogue, but I love what these guys have done.
It’s pretty self-explanatory.
It’s awesome.
It’s a live-action version of the intro to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon:
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 