Drunken Recollection… If The Rolling Stones Never Existed

It’s not like I’m a huge fan of The Beatles and think their shit doesn’t stink (a dung Beatle, if you will), but you cannot deny the fact that they have had a major impact on pop culture.

On the other hand, one night over more than a few brews, I decided that The Rolling Stones could have “not” existed, and we wouldn’t be missing much.

Sure, this Saturday Night Live skit would have never existed:

And there would have been no Paint It Black for The Doors to cover. Wait, the version I thought was Jim Morrison and crew was Mick Jagger and crew?

Well, there would have been no Wild Horses for The Sundays to cover at least (and to be honest, we probably could have lived without this one):

And lastly, who would Johnny Depp have based his Captain Jack Sparrow on other than Keith Richards?

This is the cleanest they've EVER looked.

My list of other rockers he could have based the pirate on:

  • John Lennon (quiet, contemplative, bespectacled)
  • Paul McCartney (smarmy, polite, vegetarian)
  • Ringo Starr (drummer)
  • Meat Loaf (this could have really worked)

Bitch Tits himself.

And with that, the argument discussion ended.

After all was said and done, I really wanted to hear this song for some reason, and did you know the B-52’s Love Shack lyric

Tin roof – rusted!

means pregnant, and not on her period? You’re welcome.

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