In My Brain While Sleeping… Fred Armisen Gives Good Lessons

From the first time I saw Fred Armisen on Saturday Night Live, I knew he was going somewhere.  Between his times spent as topical comedian Nicholas Fehn (this is not from SNL):

As Venezuelan comedian Fericito:

And as Jasper the Parrot (transcript here), he stood out amongst the rest as somebody to watch.

Couple those initial appearances with his bit part in the underrated Eurotrip:

And I became a certified fan.

Now I’m in absolute love with his latest project, Portlandia, so it makes complete sense that I would have a dream about that show.

Essentially, he was portraying this feminist book store owner:

And she was giving a class on how to get comfortable saying the p-word.  You know, the word some women view as vulgar, but is considerably less awful than the c-word.  Okay, that still seems open to interpretation, because it could be prick and cock… I’m talking about pussy, people.  The word pussy.  Sorry I got a little cunty there.

Anyoregon, the class was a three-step process.

STEP 1

Say the word, pussy cat.  Imagine your little Nibs, or Mittens, or Bootsy, nuzzling in your lap.  Imagine your little pussy cat.

STEP 2

Now say the word, pussyfoot.  Imagine your little pussy cat pussyfooting around your tiny apartment.

STEP 3

Now imagine that in the corner of your small apartment there’s a pussy willow plant.  And your pussy cat’s highly allergic to it, but you forgot to put the allergy medication in the tuna fish breakfast you made.  And you tell your pussy cat to stop pussyfooting around your pussy willow.  Your pussy cat doesn’t listen because your words had no power behind them, and pussy cat dies.  If you can’t say pussy, how will you save Bootsy?

THE END

(I’m here all year!)

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