A Handful Of… Commercials That Make Me Want To Punch Santa

Christmas time is here, and so are mother fucking annoying commercials.

To begrudgingly begin, this ad from Verizon is way more annoying in its condensed radio form, but you can get the gist of it from this tube promo.  Whoever thought of taking Madness’ Our House and turning it into a hybrid holiday ditty featuring British-sounding hooligans should be run over by Santa’s sleigh.  That rusty ol’ magical blade right over their carotid artery would make my mistletoes tingle:

This one isn’t as holiday apparent, but it’s still hawking phones.  Who gives telecommunication devices as gifts?  Who puts some song that sounds like it’s sung by Lisa Simpson in their ad?

This one is off the radio, and it boils my blood like I’d been in a microwave.  It makes absolutely no sense, because not one bit of it ties together.  I’m sorry that I can’t get any angrier.  I feel dead inside:

I also wanted to mention that although I don’t mind Doug Benson most of the time, commercials for his new show, The Benson Interruption, drive me up the wall.  There are no videos online for me to share, so I made this instead:

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