This one’s not quite so much a Happy Find as Meh Find. Damn this song for getting stuck in my head in the first place, and damn it again for getting remade into something more tolerable. It’s like getting a butterknife stuck in my head as opposed to a mace. (via IDLYITW)
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Please…? Pretty, pretty please?
I can only take so much withholding before I just die.
I’ll be nice to my brother. I’ll even be nice to my sisters, I guess.
Christopher Nolan, all I want is a promise. A contract can come later. All I want for Christmas is to know that there will be a third Batman movie (presumably, “The Dark Knight Returns,” but I hope it’s called something better.)
There’s this guy that calls himself Max Doomsday at an excellent blog called Atomic Gadfly, and he’s got the next movie all figured out:
(These) are the characteristics I’d draw on for my depiction of the Penguin. He’d be a successful professional criminal fronting as a businessman and philanthropist, who’s bought his way into Gotham high society. In a way, he’d be very much like Bruce Wayne – wealthy industrialists moving in the same social circle, and both leading double lives. But each man should recognize that the other is not quite what he seems.
The Penguin could be setting himself up as one of the city’s major benefactors – helping finance the rebuilding of Gotham General Hospital, bringing new jobs to the city, even donating equipment to the police department. But his goal is to create a sense of security for the people of Gotham. After all, they’ve just lived through the attacks on the city by Ra’s al Ghul and the Joker. The Penguin figures that if people feel like things are returning to normal, they’ll be so relieved that they won’t pay attention to what might be going on behind the scenes.
Remember, by the end of The Dark Knight, the Joker and Two-Face had killed off some of Gotham’s top mob figures. So the Penguin sees an opportunity to move in and set himself up as the new kingpin. Publicly, he appears to be working to “bring Gotham back” (as Batman once said), but privately, in the shadows, he’s building his criminal empire.
Max Doomsday even goes on to describe his appearance and his trademarks, and how to make him real. (Hire him to help write the script!) Another highlight is how the Penguin would get his name:
It’s not hard to imagine a scene – maybe a conference of mob leaders – where Oswald has arrived from some formal gala, still in his tux, and somebody makes a crack about how he looks in his “penguin suit.” So Oswald kills the guy, or orders him killed. Hell, maybe he crushes the guy’s windpipe with an umbrella. (I don’t know if your standard umbrella’s actually strong enough to do that. I’m just throwin’ out the idea.) Or maybe the insult occurs in a more public setting, embarrassing Oswald in front of his moll and his high society friends.
Either way, the story gets around. From then on, Oswald’s called “the Penguin.” Never, ever to his face, but sneeringly, behind his back, like “Scarface” or “Bugsy.”
So Chris Nolan – whuttayathink? I’ll put my two-cents in (ha ha… like Two-Face… not really). I say make Tiny Lister’s tattooed prisoner become Killer Croc (he’s the guy who threw the charge out the window). Or have Mr. Reese in accounting become the Riddler. He can go crazy because he wants to tell the world about Bruce Wayne and the Batman, but he feels a great debt is owed… maybe Lucius Fox fires him and that’s what pushes him off the deep end.
Anyharleyquinn, if I can’t get even a hint of a spec of a promise, can I get this instead?
Me wanty... just kidding... not really... :(
See, you punch it, and it gives you a score... what do you mean what else does it do?
I hate this thing. I really do.
I wish I never set my eyes upon it. I’ll go one better and wish my friends’ eyes had never set upon it, because they’re the facilitators of the addiction.
Meet Punch! Or BoxClub… or Boxing… or whatever version the bar has. They’re all over the place, like a drunk girl on me (I wish). And they have been for awhile, but I’ve managed to keep my distance from what I designated as the Douchebag Machine. The higher the number you can hit on the dangling nutsack, the bigger the nutsack you are.
Or so I used to pretend. Now it’s almost like a Holy Grail when I step into a gin joint. Whomever spots it first begins the murmurs – “Did you see? Did you see?” And every unit is different. Ssome bags are soft, some are hard. Some respond well to running at it and others don’t.
So am I a douchebag for playing? Nope. And neither are my friends.
But everyone else still is.
I guess he can lose.
What. The. Fahrvergnugen. Why isn’t “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose” on official DVD yet. There are bootlegs aplenty, but I’m waiting for a Shout! Factory version or for Sony to pony up and put out.
For those of you that don’t remember this show, or never heard of it at all, the breakdown is this: it’s a rip-off an homage based on similar to “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”
Parker Lewis was played by the guy who played Jonas Quinn in “Stargate SG-1″… no, you don’t know? How about the guy in “RoboDoc?” Um… his name is Corin Nemec (which sounds made up – an anagram of Icemen Corn?), and he’s been here and there through the years, but nothing quite as loud-shirted as he was on this show. (I forgot that’s why I had so many polyester button-downs in high school.)
He was the guy who had all the plans for getting away with any scheme rated PG, which he commonly preceded with the phrase, “Not a problem.”
His best bud was rocker Mikey Randall. He was played by the kid who played Blanche’s wayward nephew in an early “Golden Girls” episode. Not helping? He also had a recurring role on “Silver Spoons.” His real name is Billy Jayne. He played a coach on one episode of “The Bernie Mac Show” if that triggers any memories. See, that’s why this needs to be on DVD.
The only other faces you may recognize are Principal Grace Musso. She was played by Melanie Chartoff who was on “Get a Life” with Chris Elliott. Um, that’s not on DVD either.
Okay… the big guy on campus, Larry Kubiak, was played by the guy who played the, um, big guy in “ER.” His name is Abraham Benrubi.
Howzabout Parker’s little sister Sherry? Maia Brewton was also in “Adventures in Babysitting.” Remember? She liked Thor? Hilarious!
Okay, maybe Parker Lewis didn’t make much of a cultural impact, but it certainly was a product of its time. Is it too much to ask for it to simply be a product?
Welcome to the United States of America. Are we states united? Last time I checked there was a whole bunch of Blue States and a whole bunch of Red States, and together these states sure don’t make Purple. But it’s where we live, for better or worse, for sicker and poorer.
I just think it’s time we got a couple new euphemisms from the guys and gals in charge.
Here’s a few Classics:
Here’s a few Modern Classics:
And no doubt, here’s some Future ones as well:
Ah, the universal question… why do I get so philosophical when I get drunk? (Okay, it may not be universal to you, but it certainly is to me.) Is it that maybe I’m always so deeply lost in thought, that the suppression of ideas spill out when my tongue’s been freed by liquid courage? Or do I talk out my ass and sell the shit out of my bullshit?
Whatever the answer, the fact that remains is this: why am I doing this when I’m at the strip club local ballet?
Now before you go getting all judgmentallyish on me, know that I’m going to blame it on my friends. I’m always going to say they dragged me there. It’s besides the point that they actually did have to drag me there the first time I went (I was still a very, very devout Catholic back then), but nowadays there’s a little less arm twisting (it’s usually bribery that gets me). So anyhoohah, to my point – what was my point?
A couple of my friends recently happened upon a local ballerina establishment. (Actually, it was the night of my Sober Recollection… that was the next stop I could not be bribed into.) One of them later recounted to me that one of the ladies claimed to be a palm reader. He swore she got his name, his occupation, and a few other things right, to which I decried “balogna” (would “baloney” have had more of a visual impact?) I figured our other friend had to give her a heads-up because I don’t believe palm reading works that way (if at all).
This story he told me while at a different joint (oh yeah, this was where I was going). It lead me to ponder (okay it’s not quite philosophizing, but I do that a lot as well) about what I would like to have happen if I ever got my palm read. I would be so excited if the reader started looking over my lines, and then immediately stood up and backed away. “Go! You must leave! Now!” The reader’s voice would crack as they cowered into the corner, crying. Man, that would give me the biggest smile.
Another scenario I always daydream about is more of a prank. I need to find a good recording of screaming demons so that I could call my friends and when they answered, I’d just play the burning in fire and brimstone response.
I also pretend I’m Wolverine or John McClane when I’m in my hallways at work. Man, this post went off rail… must be because of this beer I’m palm reading.
Palm reading is fundamental.
But can it go on water?
But can it drive on land?
All I can think about when I see Gibbs Technology’s Quadski is, “Me wanty, me wanty!” Let me explain it to you in simple terms if the pictures aren’t enough (actually, you might not even be reading this and may still be staring at the photos).
I don’t live near water any body of water but the Rouge River, so this would come in handy when I finally set forth my plan on traversing the bendy once-heavily polluted now not-as-nasty stream as if it were the Mississip and I was Huck Finn. I’m sure I could get my Neighbor Jim to tag along.
Um, okay… how’s this for another crack at a wry, wrong joke – How do you say “a table for four” in a Polish restaurant? Ah forget it. Watch this video of my future speed-raft instead:
I guess I missed an alternative to Rickrolling – You’ve been Barackroll’d!
Although this is a commercial for a Toyota Carolla, am I crazy for wishing this was an entire movie?
And it was a toss up between the video below or this one to define “laughably bad.” Whereas this clip below is an homage to bad, the CGI dinosaur is simply bad.
Okay, these are pretty old, but I’ve had a very busy day. Accept my apologies or I will sick either of these monster on you… or both.
If they combined forces they’d be the Bedridden Monster.
P.S. For the record, my lack of effort on this post is pretty much up to par with both these clips.
The one-time phenomenon of Rickrolling has been played out, so America – please stop. Ignore the fact that I was searching for Strip Tease First Timers on YouTube when I recently stumbled upon it again.
For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of being Rickroll’d, let me turn you over to my good buddy, Wikipedia:
Rickrolling is an Internet meme typically involving the music video for the 1987 Rick Astley song “Never Gonna Give You Up”. The meme is a bait and switch: a person provides a Web link that he or she claims is relevant to the topic at hand, but the link actually takes the user to the Astley video.
And some history:
The first instance of Rickroll occurred in May 2007 on (an Internet forum named 4chan’s) video game board, where a link to the Rick Astley video was claimed to be a mirror of the first trailer for Grand Theft Auto IV (which was unavailable due to heavy traffic)… By May 2008, the practice had spread beyond 4chan and become an Internet phenomenon, eventually amassing some coverage in the mainstream media.
I say it’s high time we find an alternative. Although “4chan” claims it has origins in their similar prank called duckrolling, it actually began with a much earlier prank called goatse… but I’d greatly suggest we don’t go down that tunnel again.
Some alternatives to You’ve been Rickroll’d:
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 