I watch more cartoons than I should. In fact, depending on the time of the year, my DVR may be 33% full of animated hijinks.
But this show… this show makes me feel like a parent (which I’m not). Of all the swill shilling shit programming out there, this one… this one… you just need to see:
If the opening of BeyWheelz: Powered by BeyBlade is too unbearable to sit through, allow me to present a sample battle scene from this show:
Yes. You saw exactly what you saw. Two wheels riding into each other. Not animals popping out of balls or cards. Wheels. Or pardon me, Wheelz.
These Wheelz. Or pardon me, BeyWheelz.
Hasbro has gotten sloppy, power-hungry, or durrr since the success of the brain-dead-on-arrival Transformer films. Even the cinematic floater called Battleship made them money in the worldwide market. Perhaps their just setting their sights on dumb-proofing children so that one day a live-action BeyWheelz will be another future summer blockbuster.
Wait a second… BeyWheelz… Michael Bay… it might already be too late…