Ah, balloon boy.

Balloon boy, balloon boy, balloon boy.

Your mother and father wanted you to steal our hearts and imaginations, but all you did was help them crash a giant flying Jiffy Pop bag.  And you may not have done that…

But one thing you did for sure – you totally crashed their dreams of more exposure.*

(SIDENOTE: Disney/Pixar’s UP will be available November 10th on Blu-ray and DVD)

So let’s make this clear.  Six-year Falcon Heene confessed stated:

You guys said, ‘We did this for the show.’

Which show was he talking about?  Another episode of ABC’s Wife Swap?  (They’ve already participated in two key parties swaps.)

Oh yeah, did I mention that on the 10th of November, you can get your own copy of Disney/Pixar’s UP on Blu-ray or DVD?

What makes me mad about this fiasco is that so much time, money, and effort was donated to and wasted on what was possibly some big publicity stunt.  It definitely detracts from other miracles involving children in dangerous situations, such as this little girl in Washington:

Or this infant in Australia:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

In both of these instances, those we’re supposed to protect were not, but they luckily seemed to be protected by some higher power, call it whatever name you pull out of the hat.  And though these two children faced minor injury (but maybe major trauma), their stories of survival are far more interesting than some goof played by some goofball parents and their goofball kid.  And they named him Falcon?  Seriously?

*Disney/Pixar’s UP is finally “landing” on Blu-ray and DVD.  Look for it November 10th.

BONUS VOMIT VIDEO: