Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? The Year Of The Arrow (Plus Bonus COC’s!)

I figured know I’m not the first to notice this, but are you noticing a trend?

Keep your sights on the bulls-eye…

First, Katniss has her way with the bow and arrow in The Hunger Games, then Hawkeye shows up as a master archer in The Avengers, and finally Princess Merida goes all Robin Hood in Brave.  Kinda weird, right?  Like Hollywood’s prepping us for Armageddon by developing a fondness for rudimentary varieties of arsenal.

But like I said, I unfortunately was late to the (hunger) game catching that one, so howzabout this Coinkydink or Coinkydonk… the flying vessels the Chitauri use in The Avengers are similar to the flying disks in Masters of the Universe movie:

Sorta…?

What about the Chitauri Leviathan, then?  It looked comparable to those Decepticon ships in Transformers: Dark of the Moon, right?

Yeah, this one’s a bit better… let’s go for one more COC!

Remember how it looked for Tony Stark inside the Iron Man suit?

Don’t look so surprised, Mr. Jr.

Do you think they got their idea’s from 1997’s Star Kid?

Spot on, I’d say.

monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK… Oliver & Billy Joel AND Huey Lewis?!

This post presupposes that I had access to the TripleDoubleU or blogging before there was either… this would be my post back in 1988, when I was prime fodder for the TripleDoubleU or blogging these days.

This could be one of the best things I’ve ever heard.  Let me begin by introducing you to this guy: Dodger from Walt Disney Pictures new cartoon movie, Oliver & Company.

He's more Artist, than Artful.

First off, a new Disney cartoon film?  I haven’t seen one since I was a kid three years ago (that would be The Black Cauldron… I never got to see The Great Mouse Detective, mostly because I didn’t care to.)  Also, I didn’t think they made cartoon films anymore, at least not after the awesome Tron (I hope they make a sequel soon – it’s been seven years already).

But get this – Billy Joel is the voice of Dodger, and he sings Why Should I Worry? in it!  When’s the last time there was singing in a Disney movie… The Jungle Book back in the 60’s?!

And guess what’s even better?

Huey Lewis is performing the theme song, Once Upon a Time in New York City.  I can’t wait to get this cassette!  The only way this news could get any better is if my dream girl sang on the soundtrack:

In retrospect, what the hell is wrong with me?

InASense, Lost… Balloon Boy And His Ilk (Also, “Up” Dropping 11/10)

Ah, balloon boy.

Balloon boy, balloon boy, balloon boy.

Your mother and father wanted you to steal our hearts and imaginations, but all you did was help them crash a giant flying Jiffy Pop bag.  And you may not have done that…

But one thing you did for sure – you totally crashed their dreams of more exposure.*

(SIDENOTE: Disney/Pixar’s UP will be available November 10th on Blu-ray and DVD)

Available November 10th

Arriving November 10th

So let’s make this clear.  Six-year Falcon Heene confessed stated:

You guys said, ‘We did this for the show.’

Which show was he talking about?  Another episode of ABC’s Wife Swap?  (They’ve already participated in two key parties swaps.)

Oh yeah, did I mention that on the 10th of November, you can get your own copy of Disney/Pixar’s UP on Blu-ray or DVD?

Available November 10th

Buy It November 10th

What makes me mad about this fiasco is that so much time, money, and effort was donated to and wasted on what was possibly some big publicity stunt.  It definitely detracts from other miracles involving children in dangerous situations, such as this little girl in Washington:

Or this infant in Australia:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

In both of these instances, those we’re supposed to protect were not, but they luckily seemed to be protected by some higher power, call it whatever name you pull out of the hat.  And though these two children faced minor injury (but maybe major trauma), their stories of survival are far more interesting than some goof played by some goofball parents and their goofball kid.  And they named him Falcon?  Seriously?

*Disney/Pixar’s UP is finally “landing” on Blu-ray and DVD.  Look for it November 10th.

Available November 10th

On Shelves November 10th

BONUS VOMIT VIDEO:

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Disney Channel Meets MGM Gambling

I knew that someday the decision (or should I say gamble?) to build this park…

disneymgm

For the longest time, I misread it as "Miggum."

…would one day lead to a synergistic nightmare like this…

suitelife

Gold plaque! Wood grain! It's like they're twins! Fraternal, of course...

Disney’s television productions might not be the most soul-enriching shows in the world, but I never thought I’d see the day that the MGM Grand Casino in Detroit would use such a similar logo to promote a gambling contest.  I mean, kids that still watch The Suite Life of Zack and Cody shouldn’t be cross-marketed to in this fashion.  They are nowhere near old enough to be spending that kind of dough in an adult establishment on their allowances.  I’m not saying I’m against kids partaking in poker, roulette, or craps, but– wait, huh?

They did what?  Disney and MGM are no longer partnered together at the park, and they’ve got a new name?

disneyhollywood

I preferred Phil Collins' idea of redubbing it "Disney's Stu-Stu-Studio."

So, yeah… never mind this InASense, Lost.  Let’s chalk it up to a Coinkydink (coincidence) or a Coinkydonk (on purpose), because sometimes you never know what kind of gambles executives are willing to make.

Drunken Recollection… Sports Cars, Semis, And Use Of The Word “Better”

It was the best of Miller Lites; it was the worst of Miller Lites.  In other words, drinking with friends has its good days; drinking with friends has its bad days.  Here are the examples…

BEST

My good ol’ buddy Jay and I were discussing the state of the world one day, when he begin trying out some new philosophy he was developing.  I don’t quite remember the details as he worked through them, but my translation of what he was trying to say was this:

Women are sports cars and men are semi rigs.  Men prefer their women to be a two-seater, i.e. they’ve only been with one guy – that guy.  Men, as trucks, are also two-seaters, but if they have an extensive history in their trailer, it shouldn’t be a surprise to their lady friend.

There was some part about women being minivans and another deal about a bunch of guys hanging off of a sports car, but that’s the gist of it.  Do I get it?  Do I agree?  Only if I get to be a helicopter.

Men are from Mars, Women are from "Cars"

Men are from Mars, Women are from "Cars"

 WORST

It’s hard to get my goat but Jay got my goat good.  All I know is that the discussion slipped into an argument (a one-sided argument most likely) about there being more than one way to use the word “better.”

My stance:

There’s a “better” that expresses an opinion, and there’s a “better” that expresses fact.

Opinion “better” – G.I. Joe is a better movie than Transformers 2.
Fact “better” – Water is better to drink than oil.

A Freudian Psychologist's Dream Dream a.k.a. The Baroness Can-Can

A Freudian Psychologist's Dream Dream a.k.a. The Baroness Can-Can

 Until the next brewsing…

Drunken Recollection… There Just Aren’t Enough Figure Skating Movies

Yesterday was a bittersweet sports night in Detroit.  On one hand, the Tigers won their seventh straight game (barely… thanks, Zumaya).  On the other, the Red Wings lost in overtime to the Chicago Blackhawks. 

Somehow, through the course of starting the night at Comerica Park and stopping at the bar to watch the second half of the playoff game, the conversation veered to figure skating movies.  Well, it started with the mere mention of figure skating; I steered it toward chatting about film.

The topic: What’s the best movie about figure skating?

The answer: The Cutting Edge (natch).

When I finish this post, I just might watch it again. That is, if I owned the DVD. Who am I kidding? I own it...
When I finish this post, I just might watch it again. That is, if I owned the DVD. Who am I kidding? I own it…

I mean, it could be argued that since Ice Castles was the first, it’s the best by some (I’ve never seen it, but after watching this video featuring its theme song, I feel like I have to).

Some tidbit facts about Ice Castles:

  • There’s a remake coming out next year to coincide with the 2010 Winter Olympics.
  • Star Lynn-Holly Johnson went on to be a Bond Girl to Roger Moore in For Your Eyes Only.
  • Co-star Robby Benson almost won the role of Luke Skywalker in some movie I don’t recall, but he did voice The Beast in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.  He also directed episodes of Friends, apropos of nothing.
  • It’s also a song by Ween.

Arguments for The Cutting Edge:

  • It was awesome.
  • It was funny.
  • It was heartwarming.
  • It spawned a trilogy.
There really need to be five movies to tell the full story.

There really need to be five movies to tell the full story.

According to Wikipedia, there have been only 7 films about figure skating, while

  • skiing gets 9
  • surfing gets 11
  • wrestling and ice hockey get 14
  • (and oh yeah – cheerleading, skateboarding, and rodeo also get 7)

Forget the major leagues and any kind of racing, and you realize Hollywood hasn’t explored other sports all that much.  Especially when you consider that the 14 ice hockey movies include the Mighty Ducks trilogy, a second Slap Shot film, MVP: Most Valuable Primate, and The Guru – heaven help all ice-skating related works.

Happy Find… Michael Jackson Auction Items

This bit of info is about as late as my mail usually is (curse you enemy couriers!), but Mr. Moonwalk himself, Michael Jackson, recently hosted an auction of his fabulous stuff in Beverly Hills

Scratch that: he charged people $20 a (king of) pop to look at all his crazy shit, and then up and cancelled the auction.  But not before Lindy West of Slog (or should I say, of The Stranger?) was able to get in and snap a few pics.

Some highlights (not the magazine for children, though I’m sure MJ had a subscription):

Who drew this? That kid my eighth grade class that always doodled Garfield, Q-Bert, and ALF? (In other words - me.)

Who drew this? That kid in grade school that always doodled Garfield, Q-Bert, and ALF? (In other words - me.)

Creepy doesn't begin to explain this thing.

Creepy doesn't even begin to explain this thing...

Creepy definitely is a good start here.

Creepy is definitely a good start here...

Click on the links above the photos for even more insanity.

 (Thanks Veness)