Awesome Battle… He-Man Vs. She-Ra

Sibling Rivalry

Recently, on the Hub or some channel like that, I happened to catch back-to-back episodes of both shows, and I’ve already decided that there is a clear winner in the Awesome Battle between He-Man and the Masters of the Universe and She-Ra: The Princess of Power.  This post will illustrate my process.

  • ROUND 1 – THEME SONGS

Each of these are classics in their own right, but one stands out as a more advanced arrangement.  One could even imagine its back beat being lifted for an artist such as Nicki Minaj:

WINNER: SHE-RA

  • ROUND 2 – ROGUE GALLERY

Let’s take a look at She-Ra’s enemies – The Evil Horde, lead by Hordak:

They were so bad-ass, they didn’t even sell them as part of the She-Ra toyline.

And howzabout He-Man’s baddies, lead by Skeletor:

I kid, I kid… Or should I say “I baby…” (pun!)

(Click here for the real pic.)

WINNER: SHE-RA

  • ROUND 3 – SEXUAL OVERTONES

Sexual overtones are in all cartoons… especially in ones that phocus on fysique focus on physique.  So in He-Man, you have Prince Adam who dresses like this:

Um… yup.

And this is him as He-Man with his merry crew:

Despite furry loin clothes and boots, plus Ram Man’s skirt, this is a bit better.

With She-Ra, well, here’s the whole kitten-caboodle:

Hello ladies…

Even if you excuse the rainbow for the times, on the episode of She-Ra that I watched, at the start of the show, she emerged from one of the other ladies’ tents after spending the night.  Remember, this is pre-Brokeback Mountain, too, but mixed messages are mixed messages for a reason.

WINNER: TIE WITH SLIGHT EDGE TO SHE-RA (NOT TO BE INSENSITIVE, BUT I’LL CHOOSE LESBIANS EVERY TIME)

  • ROUND 4 – COMIC RELIEF

On MOTU, you have Orko:

“Here’s today’s lesson… if you try to be funny, you’re probably not…”

On POP, you have Madame Razz:

Get it! She has a talking broom! (I don’t get it…)

WINNER: TIE… NEITHER ARE THAT FUNNY

  • ROUND 5 – ACCEPTABLE WEIRDNESS

Here are some weird things on He-Man:

They fight by shoving, not punching.

Need more proof?

Who’s this guy?

A dragon wearing a horned helmet?

This takes the cake.

No weird pictures for She-Ra because all that shit’s acceptable.

WINNER: SHE-RA

  • ROUND 6 – HIDDEN CHARACTERS

In every episode of She-Ra, you had to watch extra hard to find Loo-Kee hidden somewhere in a scene:

He hid better than this.

The only thing hiding in episodes of He-Man was common sense.

WINNER: SHE-RA

  • ROUND 7 – OVERALL TOYLINE

WINNER: HE-MAN

OVERALL WINNER: HE-MAN

Advertisements

One comment

  1. HowardtheDeck · March 12, 2013

    Great post – I just started watching She-Ra on Netflix and am noticing way more parallels than I must have when I was a kid.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s