I am not a fan of Depeche Mode, but this family from Columbia sure is. After watching these, I heard Enjoy the Silence on the radio, and I couldn’t help but smile.
(SIDENOTE: When I was in high school, um, let’s see… 20 years ago… I remember this one girl gave a speech in our Honors English class about how squids are people, too. I thought, “Squids aren’t people. They’re squids!” Apparently, this is what they called goth back in the day at my school, and goths squids liked Depeche Mode. Don’t worry, I know what you’re thinking – He took Honors English?!)
With The Campaign on its way to a theater near you, I thought it was a good time to evaluate Will Ferrell’s hits and misses via his earlier supporting roles compared to his starring roles. It’s an Awesome Battle for the ages!
WILL FERRELL’S SUPPORTING ROLES
Such diversity… he’s like the Modern Lon Chaney, Jr… or Mod Chaney… or Lon Chaney, Jr. Jr.
Though in these parts he may have played second hat (which seemed to require weird hair… or a hat), no one can deny that Ferrell didn’t chew up his scenes, starting with Mustafa in the Austin Powers. When he wanted to oil up and wrestle in the otherwise horrible The Ladies Man, he brought moments of tolerableness. He not only took on Jesus in Superstar, but also Jay and Silent Bob as they struck back. His Mugatu must have been on crazy pills because he was the only one that could see the fool that Zoolander was. And who could forget his reintroduction streaking through the courtyard (or his ass) in Old School?
WILL FERRELL’S LEADING ROLES
All of them are capable of moments of “assholeness“… even Buddy in Elf
He can play it straight (Stranger Than Fiction), he can play it dry (Anchorman), or he can play it over the top (Elf)… but we still have to admit it: he plays it better when he has someone else to play off of (Talladega Nights, Step Brothers, The Other Guys). That might be why I have to give the Awesome Battle to his supporting roles. Or do I?
*THE WINNER* WILL FERRELL’S CAMEOS
You know every one of these characters if you’ve seen these films. If you don’t – you just haven’t seen them.
SIDENOTE: Sorry, but I have not seen Megamind, Everything Must Go, or Casa de mi Padre. Or any of his older more criticized flicks like Semi-Pro, Land of the Lost, Bewitched, Kicking and Screaming, or A Night at the Roxbury. I did see Blades of Glory; I regret that. I have no excuses for The Producers, Winter Passing, or Melinda and Melinda, or any of the smaller films. But that’s why none of them are included – I didn’t see them or they sucked so I didn’t see them or they sucked
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Recently, on the Hub or some channel like that, I happened to catch back-to-back episodes of both shows, and I’ve already decided that there is a clear winner in the Awesome Battle between He-Man and the Masters of the Universe and She-Ra: The Princess of Power. This post will illustrate my process.
ROUND 1 – THEME SONGS
Each of these are classics in their own right, but one stands out as a more advanced arrangement. One could even imagine its back beat being lifted for an artist such as Nicki Minaj:
WINNER: SHE-RA
ROUND 2 – ROGUE GALLERY
Let’s take a look at She-Ra’s enemies – The Evil Horde, lead by Hordak:
They were so bad-ass, they didn’t even sell them as part of the She-Ra toyline.
Sexual overtones are in all cartoons… especially in ones that phocus on fysique focus on physique. So in He-Man, you have Prince Adam who dresses like this:
Um… yup.
And this is him as He-Man with his merry crew:
Despite furry loin clothes and boots, plus Ram Man’s skirt, this is a bit better.
Even if you excuse the rainbow for the times, on the episode of She-Ra that I watched, at the start of the show, she emerged from one of the other ladies’ tents after spending the night. Remember, this is pre-Brokeback Mountain, too, but mixed messages are mixed messages for a reason.
WINNER: TIE WITH SLIGHT EDGE TO SHE-RA (NOT TO BE INSENSITIVE, BUT I’LL CHOOSE LESBIANS EVERY TIME)
ROUND 4 – COMIC RELIEF
On MOTU, you have Orko:
“Here’s today’s lesson… if you try to be funny, you’re probably not…”
On POP, you have Madame Razz:
Get it! She has a talking broom! (I don’t get it…)
WINNER: TIE… NEITHER ARE THAT FUNNY
ROUND 5 – ACCEPTABLE WEIRDNESS
Here are some weird things on He-Man:
They fight by shoving, not punching.
Need more proof?
Who’s this guy?
A dragon wearing a horned helmet?
This takes the cake.
No weird pictures for She-Ra because all that shit’s acceptable.
WINNER: SHE-RA
ROUND 6 – HIDDEN CHARACTERS
In every episode of She-Ra, you had to watch extra hard to find Loo-Kee hidden somewhere in a scene:
He hid better than this.
The only thing hiding in episodes of He-Man was common sense.
Once upon a time (not ABC-Disney’s eponymous show), Tim Burton and Don Bluth were a part of the Disney family. Coincidentally (Coinkidinkily), one of the last projects they shared parts of was The BlackCauldron(Burton designed the The Horned King; Bluth animated a few uncredited scenes).
Anygurgiwantsmunchiesandcrunchies, they share one other similarity: a fascination with dead dogs (not really).
SIDENOTE: A Coinkydonk , too? Why is this an Awful Battle? Read on.
In 1984, the last thing Burton made for Disney was a short film called Frankenweenie. This lead to him getting fired.
As for Bluth, All Dogs Go to Heaven ended his short streak of hits. Even though it developed spin-offs, it was mostly a flop following the highly successful An American Tail and The Land Before Time films. (RIP Judith Barsi)
Now that Disney and Burton made money peace over the stop-action Nightmare Before Christmas and live-action Alice in Wonderland films, he’s flipping the script on his newest film:
Why does it seem even creepier animated than the original which was live-action?!
It’s good that there are finally movies coming out that I want to see. They’re not necessarily good, but I’ve been hitting up the silver screen more in the last month than all winter with no signs of slowing down.
That having been said, I’m getting caught up on non-blockbuster preview fare, and it’s fair at best.
Take the latest offerings I witnessed (please!), and tell me if you notice something:
First, they are all screenplay movies. By that I mean to evoke Little Miss Sunshine or Cedar Rapids. They are all movies that read well, I’m sure, but have limited commercial commercial appeal.
Second, they either feature the charming Emily Blunt, Jason Segel, or both!
(SIDENOTE: I saw these previews in this exact order before the tragically unfunny Wanderlust.)
Am I eager to see any of them? No. But will I eventually? Yes.
Having just seen Episode I again, it’s put some bad thoughts into my brain about the upcoming John Carter film.
I know I’m late to the party on this critique, but there’s a good reason.
I want John Carter (formerly Of Mars) to be good.
The reason is a simple one – I’m rooting for director Andrew Stanton. And why, you wonder?
Hint: One of the answers is in his hands.
Andrew Stanton wrote and directed two of Pixar’s greats – Finding Nemo and Wall-E. He also wrote and directed this Edgar Rice Burroughs‘ adaptation, so I’m hoping the third time’s just as charming.
But I’m afraid. Very afraid.
Here’s a scene from the preview:
Dusty Arena: Check. Furry-ous Beast: Check.
Now here are some Episode II memories that this drudges up:
Dusty Arena: Check.
Furry-ous Beast: Check.
Couple with that the tired outsider-saves-the-day plot (John Carter’s of Earth, not Mars, so…), and my worries don’t seem unwarranted.
So is this an Attack of the Clones clone? Hopefully, the two films have as much in common as thesetwo do:
One has monkeying around in it and the other has a monkey.
...nobody knows anything about this except for five people I know.
So instead, I’ll focus on other TV shows that made the leap to the big screen with the original cast (or at least most of it) in tact. This is not about the remakes. Here are some TV Shows That Tried To Find New Life In Film. Some did; some didn’t. Awesome Battle, begin!
WE’RE GONNA STICK WITH THIS MOVIE THING FOR AWHILE
These were the TV shows that had either finished their run (Star Trek: The Original Series), were about to finish their run (The Muppets Show, Star Trek: The Next Generation), or barely had a run at all (the short-lived Naked Gun), but went on to produce more motion pictures than thought possible. These are the successes. These are the ones that the cinema kept alive… even up to now.
The Muppet Show - Star Trek: TOS & TNG - Naked Gun
WE’RE GONNA GO BACK TO TV A LITTLE WHILE LONGER
It’s weird that this group mostly consists of cartoons. These are the TV shows that decided to release a movie to capitalize on the boob tube success, and in many ways, they did.
Transformers: The Movie was released in 1986 to reboot the toy line and cartoon series, and how did it do that? It killed most of the original cast. It’s officially time to throw out Optimus Prime to buy Rodimus Prime.
Beavis and Butt-Head Do America extended the show one more season, but it must have also entered it into the nostalgia lexicon. It returned to MTV with a new season late last year.
South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut came out somewhere around season 3 or 4. The show just finished its fifteenth season. Oh, my god! They didn’t kill this show!
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters should have killed ATHF, but it didn’t. I saw this at the show. It was horrible! This happened in 2007. The show is still on the air.
The X-Files: Fight the Future got me to watch the season before the film was to be released. I wasn’t a fan of the show prior to that, but I knew a fair amount of its mythology. (I’d only watch it here and there for the random, spooky episodes.) The show went on for four more years. Somehow. The revelations in the movie were boring. And I think they changed all the mysteries anyway. Long story short, I stopped watching the show; others didn’t.
Transformers - Beavis and Butt-Head - South Park - The X-Files - Aqua Teen Hunger Force
WE’RE JUST LUCKY TO HAVE ONE MOVIE
These shows probably shouldn’t have had movies, but because of the fans, they did.
Kids in the Hall begat Brain Candy; Twin Peaks begat Fire Walk With Me; Firefly begat Serenity; Strangers with Candy begat Strangers with Candy; and for some reason… when no one was asking, The X-Files begat I Want to Believe. They were trying to pull an ol’ Star Trek: TOS on us. You’ll have to do better than pedo-priest and severed heads, Chris Carter. Mulder needs his Khan.
Kids in the Hall - Twin Peaks - Firefly - Strangers with Candy - The X-Files
WE’RE NOT GOING TO COUNT THESE
Any film based on Saturday Night Live skits is not up for discussion at this time.
And I didn’t include Monty Python because they’re British.
Now, I know that Kids in the Hall are Canadian, and I added them up above. And they, too, were produced by SNL’s Lorne Michaels. But they’re already in the Photoshopped image, so nyah.
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