Unofficial Trilogy… 80’s Movies That Will (Hopefully) Never Get Remade Edition
There was a time when it took some serious chops for a movie to get made. Studios held all the cards, so they chose on what to gamble. Here are some cringe-worthy gambles from the 80’s that I’d be shocked to see get remade these days:
- THE TOY (1982)
For those of you unaware of the premise: a rich white guy rents an adult black man to be his son’s friend for a week. I loved it as a kid, but in hind sight, how did it ever get made? Who ever tricked Richard Pryor, Jackie Gleason, and director Richard Donner to get involved should get some kind of metal. But then again, it was the 80’s. Cocaine was probably somehow involved.
- SOUL MAN (1986)
White Actor! C. Thomas Howell plays a student that takes tanning pills to get dark enough skin to appear black. Your first instinct might be to ask “Huh?” but here’s the answer to why: so he can get a scholarship to Harvard specifically intended for African-American students. Now you can ask the “Huh?”
- WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S (1989)
This is the tamest of the three, but it’s seemingly the least credible. How could Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy lug such a flexible deceased Bernie around all weekend without rigor mortis setting in?