When I awakened from this subconscious adventure, I was left with echoes of one question:
Where the fuck did this dream come from?
The star of this nocturnal transmission:
I don’t watch The View, but I’m constantly aware of it. If it’s not featured on some random website, then Joe McHale skewers it somehow on The Soup. But I watch that show on Wednesdays. I didn’t have this dream anywhere near Wednesday…
Anybabawahwah, I should at least be flattered by my subconscious. It was her birthday and she was hosting a party, The 50 Most Invited People. I was one of the 50 most invited.
But so was one of my nondescript associates (it was someone I knew, but I don’t know who). This person’s idea for a birthday present was to buy her scratch off lottery tickets. This person’s reasoning:
You know, it’s a gift that could keep on giving.
I was wracking my brain
while sleeping. What do you get a woman like Barbara Walters for her birthday?
Then it hit me – donate to her favorite charity in her honor. What was her favorite charity, you ask?