Hey… here’s the thing about today.  It’s Paczki Day (pronounced: punch-key) in Detroit.  It’s a Polish name, for sure.  Everywhere else it’s Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras.  Today is the day before Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent and blah blah blah…

All most people care about here are these:

Mmmm... paczkis...

I am not a fan, and have never been a fan, despite being of the same descent as the fried jelly- and custard-filled pastries.

I was kidding about the mmmm...

 I’m sure it has more to do with the fact that I’m not a fan of jelly, custard, or deep-frying…

Srsly, keep... them... away!

 …except in the case of these (where’s their holiday?):

They're like sugarized air. Let me breathe you in.