TV

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Head Honcho Edition (Round 1)

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve wanted to do an Awesome Battle involving the greatest foursomes in pop culture four some time now.

The foursomes I’ve selected to focus on:

  • The Beatles
  • Ghostbusters
  • The A-Team
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
  • South Park
  • the cast regulars of Seinfeld
  • The Monkees
  • Fantastic Four
  • the cast regulars of Sex and the City
  • Teletubbies
  • the selectable players of Super Mario Bros. 2 for the NES
  • the Baldwin Brothers
  • the current judges on American Idol
  • the primary cast of The Wizard of Oz
  • the cast regulars of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (starting with the first season)
  • Entourage

And since we’re in the midst of March Madness, I though what could be better than creating a bracket four finding the best of the best in each of these groups, and make the BEST FOURSOME EVER!

Each Sunday Whenever I get around to it, I’ll post the previous round’s results and the next bracket edition.  To begin, here are the Head Honchos.  Following this will be the Second Bananas, then the Round Outs, and finally the Wild Cards.  Vote as often as you can from any computer you can get to, and tell your friends.  (Please!)

The more votes I get, the more accurate the Final Foursome’s quality will be.

(For the Second Bananas bracket, click here.   For the Round Outs bracket, click here.  For the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

THE HEAD HONCHOS

John Lennon vs. Tinky Winky

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Sandra Bullock’s Pickle

Posted on by sgottahurt

Definition: pick•le (v)

fix; informal term for a difficult situation; “he got into a terrible fix”; “he made a muddle of his marriage”; “Sandra Bullock’s in quite a pickle”

Hot off of an Oscar (and Razzie) win, Sandra Bullock has found herself on the butt-end of a debacle involving her husband, Jesse James, possibly having an affair with tattoo canvas, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee.

James’ former paramour and mother of his daughter, Janine Lindemulder, was also a fan of porn, well, watch this video and see…

BONUS: Is the Oscar curse in full effect?

A Handful Of… Strange Facts I Know About Celebs’ Kin (Not To Be Confused With “Celeb Skin”)

Posted on by sgottahurt

Here’s some things I’ve picked up over the years and have never been able to put down.  Well, that might be an overstatement.  I could “put them down” in an insulting fashion, I’m sure.  I was attempting clever word play, and I’ve thus succeeded in coming off as pretentious… nice going, d-bag.

POTSIE’S COUSIN “INVENTED” THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER

Would you associate these two images? On second thought, strike that question from the record.

Anson Williams, a.k.a. Potsie Weber from Happy Days, was actually a Heimlick.  His second cousin was Dr. Henry Heimlich, the guy that named a move after himself.  I have a few things to say about this strange fact I know:

  1. I give credit to Happy Days as being the source of my taking an interest in the actual names of Actors! As a child, I remember being impressed by my parents ability to remember the characters’ real names, and I started paying attention to the, um, credits.
  2. Can you really be, um, credited with the “invention” or “creation” of something that can be done manually?  If that’s the case, then who invented the handshake?  The noogie?  The wet willie?  (I bet Willie was the first person to get a saliva-coated finger shoved in his ear.)
  3. Do you think Potsie was a precursor to the existence of Boner on Growing Pains?

EELS’ LEAD SINGER’S DAD ORIGINATED THE CONCEPT OF PARALLEL WORLDS

Remember this song?

If you didn’t, and you listen to it again, you now answer that same question differently.  I’ve pulled your current consciousness from one plane of existence (where you did not remember that song), into this plane where you do.  They both exist regardless of you decision.  And that’s kind what Hugh Everett III (father of the guy in the above video, Mark Oliver Everett, or simply E) talks about in his theory (as far as I can understand it).

I’m not too amazed by this “discovery” though… some pot head (a.k.a. Potsie) would have thought it up sooner or later.

PAPA OF NURSE HATHAWAY – SORRY, THE GOOD WIFE – WROTE THE ALKA-SELTZER JINGLE

Once upon a time, she pushed George Clooney away.

No matter what Julianna Margulies will be in for the rest off her life, I’ll always think of her as Nurse Hathaway on ER.  I bet the same thing can be said about her father, Paul, in relation to this earworm:

ONE OF THE MONKEES’ MAMAS MADE MISTAKE OUT

That one Monkee(s) happens to be Michael Nesmith.  And Mistake Out is better known to us as Liquid Paper.  I wrote about this before here.

AND THIS ONE I JUST LEARNED…

It’s not about kin, though… it’s just about one man… this man…

James Lipton in da howz!

Did you know he composed the theme song to Thundercats?!

(via Warming Glow)

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Internet Meme Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

How did stuff like this get around without the TripleDoubleU?

For this round, how about covering recent TripleDoubleU memes?  Shall we?

1) This cat’s name is Bento.  What’s the name of the original Keyboard Cat?

    a) Pepto
    b) Furby
    c) Pepsi
    d) Fatso

2) The original lyrics for this song are:

    a) Fatsososo
    b) Trololo
    c) Tralala
    d) Doodoodoo

3) Why do I love this mashup so much?

    a) Jabba the Hutt (non-CGI) is inherently funny
    b) Parks and Recreation’s theme song is catchy
    c) All the above
    d) Eh, I’ve seen better

4) Who owns this song?

    a) Ram Jam
    b) Epic Beard Man
    c) Tyrone
    d) Amber Lamp

5) What process has been applied to this photo?

    a) PolizziShop
    b) SnookiShop
    c) PhotoShop
    d) RafikiShop (please click)

Answers after the jump

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Buried Life Meets Darkwing Duck

Posted on by sgottahurt

Do Not Try This At... IHOP

The Buried Life is a rare treat on MTV… hell, make that TV in general.

It follows four Canadian friends as they embark on crossing items off of their bucket list.  As they seek to accomplish their various feats, they also help others complete things they want to do before they die.  It’s all quite positive.

This dream I had served as an origin story for the guys.  One of them (I assume Dave) had this item on his list:

Freeze a microwave and then use it… like a reverse TV dinner.

I don’t know the steps involved in the process, but basically, he ends up blowing up the house.  And that’s the reason they leave in their big purple bus, Bessie.

Another thing I can’t quite recall is what their first mission happened to be, but this image might give a clue about the first “person” they helped:

I wanted this to turn out better...

It was Launchpad McQuack, formerly of DuckTales and Darkwing Duck.

He was trying to find Gosalyn Mallard, adopted daughter of Darkwing Duck’s alter-ego, Drake.  So the crew gathered in the bus and began the search.

"Look! There she is!"

There she is indeed.

DREAM INGREDIENTS: Bagels… with peanut butter on it.

Drunken Recollection… Things To Investigate If I Remember Them (Which I Did)

Posted on by sgottahurt

That's one way to do it...

Do you get drunk faster by drinking beer through a straw?

Per Wiki Answers (and I guess, common sense):

The drinking implement is not important. The speed at which you drink is. If you drink more in a shorter space of time then yes, naturally. Pretty self-explanatory really.

This one was a two-parter: 1) As a kid, did I not watch M*A*S*H* because of the theme song?

Yes.  It’s terrible.

2) Would I have liked it if it had a different theme song?

I don’t see why not.

Is “The Mike Game” a fun game to play?

Yes.  Once you understand the complicated rules.

Somebody told me there was a Polish dog that was saved from an iceberg…

…and there was.  They named him “Baltic”… you know, after the sea Polish fisherman found him on.  I named my dog the same way!

The Opposite of a Hot Dog

Find the update on the situation here (and for an update on The Situation here).  Now I’m going to go grab a beer and a straw, relax, and watch an old episode of Baywatch with my dog, “Outside the Strip Club.”

Musical Musings… Better Lady Than Never

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hey Ladies!

This shit is bananas!  B-A-N-A-N-A-S!  Or at least it’s P-L-A-N-T-A-I-N-S!

From my understanding (which translates to “I just learned this”), Lady Antebellum has been a part of the music scene since 2007, but I’ve only recently heard about the group courtesy of their simple and catchy crossover hit, Need You Now.  The group is composed of Charles Kelley, Dave Haywood, and Hillary Scott (pictured above), which makes the trio’s name no less strange.  It’s two guys and one lady.  And antebellum means pre-war so no further help there.

Like Lady Sovereign before them and Lady Gaga after them, perhaps their moniker was inspired by…

BONUS MUSICAL MUSING: I’ve intended to gripe about this for a while now, but I kept forgetting to.  It’s more shit that is plantains, and I didn’t hear any mention of it anywhere else.  Why was Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl (I’m not linking the video for spite) such a huge deal when Jill Sobule sang about the same thing back in 1995, when it was still sort of taboo?  Nowadays, it’s kind of slutty.

SIDENOTE: I’m not saying I want it to stop.

BONUS NON-MUSICAL MUSING: Cougars grow up to become cat women.

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… Cookie And Candy Bar (Plus Pop Bottle) Sizes

Posted on by sgottahurt

Either my hands have gotten bigger, or my cookies and candies have gotten smaller.  I should clarify, since I was a kid.  And also, that I’m talking about actual cookies and candies.

Anywhoppers, it appears to me we’re going the way of the Japanese.  Not in terms of soda flavors:

Coming soon: BBQ and Squid

But in the way that they are smaller than our 20 oz. versions and cost a fair amount more.

  • Pepsi Shiso: Introduced only in Japan as a limited edition for Summer 2009, it’s transparent green.  Size: 147 ml can, price: 147 yen.  Also available in 500ml plastic bottles.  Shiso in English is “labiate” or “perilla”. (via Wikipedia)
  • 147 Japanese yen = 1.624497 U.S. dollars
  • 500 ml = 16.9 oz. (which is a size now available in the US)
  • I’m done with the math, but you get it…

Our Twix’s and Chips Ahoy!’s and Milky Way’s and Oreo’s are exponentially shrinking in size maintain a lower price point.  This site details the trend without any additional references, while this site supplies information they acquired from the Hershey Company (I’m highlighting only key moments):

  • 1976 – 1.2 oz… 15 cents
  • 1978 – 1.2 oz… 25 cents
  • 1980 – 1.05 oz… 25 cents
  • 1982 – 1.45 oz… 30 cents
  • 1986 – 1.45 oz… 40 cents
  • 1986 (same year) – 1.65 oz… 40 cents
  • 1995 – 1.55 oz… 50 cents
  • 2003 – 1.55 oz… 80 cents
  • 2007 – 1.45 oz… 79 cents
  • 2010 – 1.55 oz… 95 cents

By this rate, I fear one day all my favorites will be way smaller than I remember, and cost way more than I’d care to pay.

What do they cost on E.T.'s Garden Planet?

Are Reese’s Pieces the sign of the apocalypse? Can they in fact be the proof in the pudding?  (Actually, Reese’s Pieces in vanilla pudding sounds really tasty.)  Let’s have a look…

  • 1.63 oz. bags in 1982
  • 43 g bags in 2010
  • 43 g = 1.51678036 oz.
  • So, I guess not, huh?

Awesome Battle… People I Currently Resemble

Posted on by sgottahurt

Over this weekend, I cleared my scalp and kept my full beard.  These are the select few I’ve been told I resemble, or that I instantly considered my dopplegangers.

To my sister, I took upon the visage of poet Shel Silverstein:

He looks like someone you wouldn't want to meet "Where the Sidewalk Ends"...

To my other sister, Jeff Bridges in his Iron Man baddie-mode, Obadiah Stane:

Can you trust this man? Of course!

To my boss/friend Paul, I became Wooly Willy:

Once upon a time, shredded bits of iron and a magnetic stick was considered fun.

To me, it’s a toss up between these two cartoon characters:

Alex Sector, Agent of M.A.S.K.

D'oh!

ADDENDUM: Speaking of “D’oh!” I forgot to mention that this Matthew McConaughey movie was on TV the day I decided to Bic my noggin:

Van Zan from "Reign of Fire"