Toys

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Head Honchos Edition (Round 2)

Posted on by sgottahurt

(For Round 2 of the Second Bananas bracket, click here.  For the Round Outs bracket, click here.  For Round 2 of the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

Wow.

Some of these upsets I did not see coming.  But just like the NCAA tournament system this is based on, upsets are what make it interesting.

THE HEAD HONCHOS (Round 1 Results)

– First dead Beatle John Lennon (#1) was pitted against the biggest Teletubby, Tinky Winky, and rightfully so, Lennon won (at the time of this posting), 34-15.

– Moneybags/sour puss Simon Cowell (#2) lost in the first upset of the competition to the Entourage’s nougat center, Vincent Chase (#15).  Not quite a blow-out at 27-17.

– There must be a fair amount of animosity being held against Jerry Seinfeld (#3) for his awful Marriage Ref show.  I didn’t think enough people would remember The Monkees, let alone the group’s breakout heartthrob, Davy Jones (#14) to help him scrape by a win at 24-21.

– The next one was not even close.  Peter Venkman (#4) blew Dorothy Gale (#13) all the way back to Oz with a 47-2 win.

– This one breaks my heart a little bit.  Maybe if the movie remake was already out (and it didn’t suck), John “Hannibal” Smith (#5) would have defeated mushroom-addict, Mario Mario (#12).  Instead, the double-monickered one won, 19-13.

– Alec Baldwin (#6) and Ninja Turtle Leonardo (#11) are a lot alike, if you take away the green color, shell, swords, and business suit.  Don’t believe me?  Imagine it.  The green one loses to the hairy one, 31-17.

– One’s made of paper and one’s made of elastic (kind of).  Stan Marsh (#7) pulls out a victory against Mr. Fantastic (#10), 27-6.

– This battle was upsetting to me.  I love It’s Always Sunny in California, and I’m rather indifferent to Sex and the City.  For those that voted, the opposite must have been true.  Carrie Bradshaw (#9) beats Dennis Reynolds (#8), 26-19.

With that being said, onto round 2!

John Lennon vs. Carrie Bradshaw

(more after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Wild Cards Edition (Round 1)

Posted on by sgottahurt

(For the Head Honchos bracket, click here.  For the Second Bananas bracket, click here.  For the Round Outs bracket, click here.)

Here it is… the final bracket in the Final Foursome competition.  Who will make it to the ultimate quartet?  Who will make it to round 2?  Will anybody help spread the word and get more votes?  Does anybody care?

Well the answer to all the above questions is “Reply hazy, try again,” at least according to my Magic 8 Ball.

Nonetheless, this proud group consists of those that are a lot like a Magic 8 Ball.  You never know what they’re going to do or say… within their limits.  Or you flat-out don’t understand why they’re there.  Kind of like, why make an eight ball magical?

THE WILD CARDS

Cosmo Kramer vs. Miranda Hobbes

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Round Outs Edition (Round 1)

Posted on by sgottahurt

(For the Head Honchos bracket, click here.  For the Second Bananas bracket, click here.  For the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

Welcome to the Round Outs bracket in the quest to assemble the greatest Final Foursome.

These are the players that “round out” each of their respective groups.  They’re the brains, the brawns, the beauties, the talent, the bullies, the Born Again, and the, um, yellow.

THE ROUND OUTS

Eric Cartman vs. Laa-Laa

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Second Bananas Edition (Round 1)

Posted on by sgottahurt

(In case you missed the first bracket for Head Honchos, click here.  For the Round Outs bracket, click here.  For the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

In a quest to find the greatest foursome composed of members from many foursomes, here’s the appropriately titled second bracket, Second Bananas.  These are the guys and the gals that make the Head Honchos look like head honchos.  If it was in their nature, they’d be at the top… but they don’t feel like it.

Stayed tuned for the Round Outs and Wild Cards brackets.

Keep voting and please keep spreading the word!

THE SECOND BANANAS

Paul McCartney vs. Dipsy

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Head Honcho Edition (Round 1)

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve wanted to do an Awesome Battle involving the greatest foursomes in pop culture four some time now.

The foursomes I’ve selected to focus on:

  • The Beatles
  • Ghostbusters
  • The A-Team
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
  • South Park
  • the cast regulars of Seinfeld
  • The Monkees
  • Fantastic Four
  • the cast regulars of Sex and the City
  • Teletubbies
  • the selectable players of Super Mario Bros. 2 for the NES
  • the Baldwin Brothers
  • the current judges on American Idol
  • the primary cast of The Wizard of Oz
  • the cast regulars of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (starting with the first season)
  • Entourage

And since we’re in the midst of March Madness, I though what could be better than creating a bracket four finding the best of the best in each of these groups, and make the BEST FOURSOME EVER!

Each Sunday Whenever I get around to it, I’ll post the previous round’s results and the next bracket edition.  To begin, here are the Head Honchos.  Following this will be the Second Bananas, then the Round Outs, and finally the Wild Cards.  Vote as often as you can from any computer you can get to, and tell your friends.  (Please!)

The more votes I get, the more accurate the Final Foursome’s quality will be.

(For the Second Bananas bracket, click here.   For the Round Outs bracket, click here.  For the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

THE HEAD HONCHOS

John Lennon vs. Tinky Winky

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Happy Find… ChatRoulette – The Musical, Plus Bonus Alternative

Posted on by sgottahurt

These are already making the rounds (some might say they’re already done), but I enjoy them enough to post them again here.

If you’re unfamiliar with ChatRoulette by this point, welcome to my site.  I will be your Internet God (or as I’m prone to start saying, TripleDoubleU Pong).

Here are two clever fellows (one is unknown and now-known, and the other is well-known or sorta-known, at least).  First up is Merton, a Ben Folds fan that claims not to be ripping off Ben Folds:

And second up is Ben Folds paying homage to Merton (it’s all so meta… which is not to be confused with metal):

The chance of running into creative types like Merton and Ben Folds is slimmer than most of the masturbators you’ll come stumble across.  So as an alternative to perverts, how about an old-fashioned game of Russian roulette turned kiddie-proof:

"Guaranteed to make you wet!" - rejected slogan

Hibbidy-Wah?! NintenDon’t Go There!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Video games feel like they’ve been around forever.  Sure, they might not always have been electronic, or in a sense (lost) “video,” but people have always used games as a distraction.  What I’m trying to say is this: painting the Sistine Chapel was no different from a marathon run of World of Warcraft.  Michelangelo was bored (for four years), and this was his distraction.

I guess that’s the essence of what I’m getting at… video games, or the need for distractions, is eternal.  Well, maybe not eternal.  Only since we as a human species haven’t had to worry about getting eaten by wild animals, die from the simple cold, or basically fight to survive.  Wait.  Scratch all that.

What I really want to say is thank Pong that video games exist.  And thank Pong this game doesn’t:

And thank Pong this kid recorded his experiment in tastelessness (perhaps) and ignorance (definitely):

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Hibbidy-Wah?! Video Game“, posted with vodpod

Do you think I’d get the same response if my gamer tag was PongDiedLOL?  Or what if instead of painting this:

This took four years? Heh. I could do it in two... hundred.

Ol’ Michelangelo painted this:

Get it? It's like Ping-Pong minus the Ping!

Also acceptable (and probably the better joke):

And the Lord said, "Let there be... Me-damn it! You scored again, Adam! Keep this up, and I'm making you a girlfriend that will keep interrupting you!"

Awesome Battle… People I Currently Resemble

Posted on by sgottahurt

Over this weekend, I cleared my scalp and kept my full beard.  These are the select few I’ve been told I resemble, or that I instantly considered my dopplegangers.

To my sister, I took upon the visage of poet Shel Silverstein:

He looks like someone you wouldn't want to meet "Where the Sidewalk Ends"...

To my other sister, Jeff Bridges in his Iron Man baddie-mode, Obadiah Stane:

Can you trust this man? Of course!

To my boss/friend Paul, I became Wooly Willy:

Once upon a time, shredded bits of iron and a magnetic stick was considered fun.

To me, it’s a toss up between these two cartoon characters:

Alex Sector, Agent of M.A.S.K.

D'oh!

ADDENDUM: Speaking of “D’oh!” I forgot to mention that this Matthew McConaughey movie was on TV the day I decided to Bic my noggin:

Van Zan from "Reign of Fire"

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Nerd Abbreviations Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

What came first: the soda or the code?

Ladies and gentlemen – neither of which read this blog… it is my honor and duty (I wrote on-her and doody, heh heh) to present this new category: 

So, Duh! Pop Quiz

Today’s installment is a simple one (hence the So, Duh! aspect), and nothing like the query in the above photo. 

SIDENOTE: Slurm is a soda-ish beverage in the TV show Futurama, but it also stands for Simple Linux Utility Resource Management.  The episode originally aired in 1999; the open-source manager (whatever that means) was developed in 2003.  This could be fodder for a Coinkydink or Coinkydonk?  Probably not… 

AnyWHO, the following abbreviations (or acronyms if you want to be super-nerdy about it) have no hold on the real World Health Organization.  They may have a hold on the WOW, though… 

1). Which of the following was not a TV series in this sci-fi series: 

    a) TOS
    b) TAS
    c) TPM
    d) TNG

2). Which of the following animated series from the 80’s was never a movie: 

    a) MASK
    b) TMNT
    c) BTTF
    d) MOTU

3). ROTF is to MTMTE as TROC is to : 

    a) SPAM
    b) NCIS
    c) LARP
    d) ARAH

4). ROTK is to FOTR as ROTJ is to: 

    a) ANH
    b) TPM
    c) a case could be made for either a) or b)
    d) none of the above

5). What pairs have the most in common: 

    a) BSG and BTVS
    b) SMB and LOZ 
    c) AVP and HPATCOS
    d) MMPR and SGU

 

    Linux Penguin and Slurms McKenzie chillin’…

(This quiz translated with italicized answers after the jump) Read More

In My Brain While Sleeping… M&M’s Meet Yu-Gi-Oh!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I might have had a million dollar idea In My Brain While Sleeping.  Consider this posting my poor man’s copyright. 

In this dream, I happened to be in the toy section of a department store (surprise), and on one of the end caps I saw new candy display. 

Bright blue bags of what appeared to be M&M’s filled the pegs, but they were called something different:It was a new candy/trading card-type game, like Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh!  Basically, it was played like so… 

  1. Kids would buy a package (or more) of em-em-oh’s!
  2. They’d face off against each other by opening their packs.
  3. Upon discovering what character they had, they would battle their friends using the different colored M&M’s found inside as points.
  4. As you lost points, you’d eat your candies.
  5. Last one with candy left wins!
  6. Each candy would have its own attribute:
  • Blue candies = amount of magic
  • Red candies = amount of life
  • Yellow candies = amount of money
  • Orange candies = amount of friend points
  • Brown candies = amount of land

The good guys would be called fren-em-em’s, while the bad guys would be called en-em-em’s. 

(Not So) Artistic Representation of the "eMnivore"

The entire concept would be a branching out against of the proconceived notions about M&M’s, much like how Bionicle expanded Lego’s brand. 

Food fight!

And they game would be replayable!  You’d send in wrappers to get actual trading cards, and there would even be chasers – those rare wrappers with exclusive characters. 

Once kids have the first series, others would follow.  When new battles were waged, players would grab random handfuls of M&M’s, so future sales would remain stable, and possibly increase. 

The only setback I see is parents of fat kids blaming em-em-oh’s! for their children’s woes. 

My response to that: at least they’re playing with their food before eating. 

DREAM INGREDIENTS: I was probably eating Reese’s Pieces before falling asleep.