True Facts I Made Up… The Truth Behind Billie Jean

Every once in a while on this great planet a person with no discernible talent rises like a comet toward the outskirts of fame, and instead crashes like a meteor toward infamy.  This was the trajectory Kim Kardashian and George W. Bush were destined to follow, but our modern media changed their outcomes.

The same can’t be said about Billie Jean.  (Thanks modern media.)

Wilhelmina Jeanette Mousekewitz, circa 1980

Wilhelmina Jeanette Mousekewitz, circa 1980, imitating the practice that would make her a legend

Wilhelmina Jeanette Mousekewitz*, better known only as Billie Jean, was born some time in the 60’s to a mother and father that named her.  She always had dreams of making it big in Hollywood, and once she got too big for Hollywood, Ohio, she moved to Los Angeles to chase bigger dreams… and the stuff of legend.

At the ripe age of legal, she found her way into many celebrity circles, and more specifically, into many celebrities’ beds… some of which happened to be circle in shape.  Many Two singers sang about their exploits involving Ms. Mousekewitz:

Some even suggest that Tommy Tutone’s scandalous Jenny was one of her pet names (Billy Jenny):

A movie was made based on The Legend of Billie Jean, but it was a tongue-in-cheek reference to her true story:

You can't make a movie about

Nobody would sign off on it.

The biggest reason that Billie Jean is known among the Hollywood elite is for her coining of this phrase:

Who do I gotta blow to get a _______ around here?

She said it all the time, and she meant it, whether it was a part in a film that she wanted, or a cheeseburger from Carl’s Jr.  And that’s the untold true story behind Billie Jean.

*(It’s been said that her last name also inspired the story that became An American Tail.  The pun was on purpose.)

3 comments

  1. Patrickgladlydisrespctful · October 29

    ABSOLUTELY THE DUMBEST THING I’VE EVER READ!!!!!
    Total waste of time and now I’m dumber having read it. Thanks for putting your name on it (sgottahurt) so I can avoid everything else you’ve Blogged.
    P.s. choke yourself until you pass out! Thanks

  2. ella · November 10

    this was true but there barley nothing in here like how did this happen did they do it? your no help i can get better word from my dad i came here because i wanted to see if it was true so i pressed this link and i get the SAME words i heard from another web just no help for me

  3. ella · November 10

    this was true but there barley nothing in here like how did this happen did they do it? your no help i can get better word from my dad i came here because i wanted to see if it was true so i pressed this link and i get the SAME words i heard from another web just no help for me VERY POOR and if i did not know anything and saw this page clicked i still would not think this is true please make some more words that would also be true and i would turn it to an average thank you.

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