I can’t take it anymore. I’m beyond words. I may really have to begin holding this against people.
If you like the Twilight films, I think there is something wrong with you.
Of course, the latest film The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 is in theaters now, so the actors are making their rounds on the late night circuit.
These are two of the clips they show to sell it:
Dumb doesn’t even begin to explain the people who paid to see this – the fifth film – at the show.
As an exclamation point, here’s Robert Pattinson swinging Kristen Stewart like a purse at the bad guys:
I’m on Team Mayan. Come on end of the world!
At one point in my life, I had an untainted mind (I could barely write that without evoking mental images).
Nowadays, it doesn’t take much for my bowling ball brain to land in the gutter. The latest occurrence involved a song with this title:
SEED TOSS by SUPERCHUNK
I didn’t even listen to the song. My reaction was, “ewww,” and I touched that dial. Here’s the song if you’re interested:
But was my repulsed gut instinct on the mark? Are my sensibilities that warped that I took the gross song title and coincidentally horrible band name to an extreme context of double entendre?
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I envy you. But to confirm or deny my impulse judgment, let’s look at the lyrics (I still refuse to listen to the tune):
‘Cause (and) here you come on your broom
Your mood ring’s turning brown
You will begin to feel it soon
You’re tossing your seeds around
(Read more at SongMeanings)
Okay… so it’s about a girl who’s a witch or a bitch or Joanna Appleseed? The rest of the lyrics add little insight.
Could I be completely off base? Is it just about a girl gardener?
Heaven help my soul.
I don’t find this particularly exciting, so I’m not sure why I’m writing about it. This probably has more to deal with the fact that I noticed the odd trend, and I want to share it with you. As you mill over the new logos of three companies, take notice of how similar their new fonts are. While you’re doing that, I think of a way to spice this blog entry up…
Okay… I’ve had moments to think. Howzabout we try this:
A HANDFUL OF… TERRIBLE BOARD GAMES FOR KIDS
- Hot Dog in a Hallway – It’s similar to Hungry, Hungry Hippos, except you shoot Tic Tac-sized plastic hot dogs down a motorized hallway playset that has moving walls like in the movie Labyrinth. Whoever gets the most hot dogs down their hallway wins!
- Last Call – It’s like the game of Life, except your goal is score someone’s number before the clock hits 2:00 am!
- Happy Endings – It’s like Candyland, except you’re on the interstate freeway system, looking for illicit massage parlors. Don’t get stuck in the Lot Lizard pit!
- Bed Bugs – It’s like – oh… yeah, this exists.
- Othello – It’s like Reversi, except you change the name because:
The name was selected as a reference to the Shakespearean play Othello, the Moor of Venice, referencing the conflict between the Moor Othello and Iago, who describes himself as “two-faced” and more controversially, to the unfolding drama between Othello, who is black, and Desdemona, who is white. The green color of the board is inspired by the image of the general Othello, valiantly leading his battle in a green field [or because jealousy is the green-eyed monster – Ed.]. It can also be likened to a jealousy competition (jealousy being the central theme in Shakespeare’s play), since players engulf the pieces of the opponent, thereby turning them to their possession (via Wikipedia)…
Well, that saves me the hassle of Photoshopping those games!
*dusts off hands*
Video games and hula hoops might be considered childish things.
But what about a fake movie trailer based on a video game and a mesmerizing mellow dance routine using a hula hoop?
You’re not reading this anyway. You’re looking at the videos, right? I can say anything I want here, and I’m going to take full advantage of that. I sometimes daydream about getting lick-attacked by, like, a dozen puppies.
It’s been a while again, folks, and I’d like to present to you a few more occurrences of
homages liberal borrowings. If you are unfamiliar with my concept of liberal borrowing, click liberal borrowing (not this one, the previous one).
The first few I’m going to breeze through because they’re already older songs, and other people have thought the same or the artists acknowledge the similarity.
- SOME NIGHTS BY fun. (do I really have to write it that way?) = CECELIA BY SIMON & GARFUNKEL
My friend swore up and down about this one, and being the defender of originality that I claim to be, I just didn’t really hear it… until this video:
He also thinks fun.’s We Are Young shares common ground with The Beatles’ Hey Jude. I told him to find me a sample; he’s still looking.
- I WON’T GIVE UP BY JASON MRAZ = DELICATE BY DAMIEN RICE
This one even Mr. A-to-the-Z can’t argue with… it’s on Wikipedia.
When I first heard I Won’t Give Up, I wondered why I felt like I knew its melody but not the words (by the way, does Jason Mraz realize he looks like that now?):
- WASHINGTON NATIONAL’S LOGO = WALGREEN’S LOGO
I’m late to this, but I only noticed because my Detroit Tigers made it as far as they did. Otherwise, I don’t watch National League games at all. But answer me this – notice anything? ‘Cuz Walgreen’s did.
(SIDENOTE: This last one is my favorite.)
Does M83’s Reunion…
…sound at all like the theme song to Supernanny?