Month: March 2012

monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK… The Man Of Action For President!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I didn’t have a blog back in 2005, and YouTube was just getting started, so pretend this post took place in that very same year, about a very special brand of hero…

I’m beginning to have my faith restored in humanity, and there’s a very simple reason why:

Buddy Lee will be a write-in for U.S. President in 2008!

In case you’re unaware of his credentials, I found a new website called Yourtoob that shows videos with plenty of proof why he would make a good president.  I’m sure that he could beat Dick Cheney or Hillary Clinton any day!

He stops at nothing to save the day, even if it’s just a cat:

He was a volunteer firefighter:

He was a valued police officer:

He inspired a haircut craze that was bigger than Jennifer Aniston’s The Rachel:

He even knows how to have a good time:

Just Sh–ty To The Sh–? Is This Annoying Commercial Growing On Me?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Metro PCS is to all the other cell phone companies like a hot dog vendor is to chain restaurants.  It’s cheap, and if you need it, it’s food a phone.

For their latest ad campaign, they feature a very annoying song (as opposed to racist caricatures*) that for some reason is seeping into the part of my brain that likes hot dogs from street vendors… wait, that doesn’t sound right.

*If you don’t remember…

Awful Battle… Preview Mix-N-Match

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s good that there are finally movies coming out that I want to see.  They’re not necessarily good, but I’ve been hitting up the silver screen more in the last month than all winter with no signs of slowing down.

That having been said, I’m getting caught up on non-blockbuster preview fare, and it’s fair at best.

Take the latest offerings I witnessed (please!), and tell me if you notice something:

First, they are all screenplay movies.  By that I mean to evoke Little Miss Sunshine or Cedar Rapids.  They are all movies that read well, I’m sure, but have limited commercial commercial appeal.

Second, they either feature the charming Emily Blunt, Jason Segel, or both!

(SIDENOTE: I saw these previews in this exact order before the tragically unfunny Wanderlust.)

Am I eager to see any of them?  No.  But will I eventually?  Yes.

Emily Blunt and  Jason Segel are just so charming!

In My Brain While Sleeping… Mitt’s Lit Promise

Posted on by sgottahurt

New Slogan: "Mitt Romney in a knit mitt hat, for you... for us."

I can’t wait for all this to be over.  There is no reason that I should have any dreams about politics, let alone Mitt Romney.

In this dream, he was not wearing the above hat, which is a pity.  But he did go into a rant about the auto industry here in Detroit.

So far, so goof.

The biggest part I remember is his big promise, and big blunder.

He promised to get James Patterson to stop writing so many books…

Just a "pattering" of his works.

…so Stephen King would write more.

King of the Fountain... Pen

You see, in my brain…
He confused Michigan with Maine.

(SIDENOTE: Patterson is not from Maine… he’s from New York.  But that’s close.)

Hibbidy-Wah?! Why Is No One Pitching A “B” About This?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I think it’s really weird surprising that a channel like ABC would have a show on it called GCB.  Here’s the poster:

It stands for "Good Christian Blondes," right? It doesn't!

Well, that’s a one-in-a-thousand shot-in-the-dark(ness-of-hell) scenario.  It’s based on a book written by a lady, so there’s that.  But the show’s written and produced by men, so there’s that.  But at least one of them is gay, so there’s that.

I don’t know what any of those that’s are really about, but what about the chances that this exists!  And on the same network!

Please tell me this "B" is short for "Black-Haired Girl"...

Have we come so far as a society that it’s okay to name not one – but two – TV shows using the short-hand form of the word bitch? And both of those shows are on a channel owned by Disney?!

I guess ABC Family raised (?) the bar with its Secret Life of the American Teenager:

(Thanks Joel McHale and The Soup!)

Drunken Recollection… Terrible License Plate Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

To begin, I know this sounds bad… a Drunken Recollection about a license plate.  But for the record – it wasn’t me driving!  For the record, it was me drinking, though.

Anydouche, there was a car like this with this license plate:

It's better than IGODWN2... (click this image for that story)

Is it Mrs. Mack or Mr. Smack?!  Those are two very different messages you’re sending, driver!

One is a guy I wouldn’t want to cross, and neither is the other!

What they should have had is a license plate like this:

What were the chances I had my Yoda mask with me when I saw the license plate? Apparently, really good. And for the record, I was not drunk.

Unofficial Trilogy… Shott Gunnn! Kid Detective Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

Ah, the good ol’ days.  But as Billy Joel once said:

The good ol’ days aren’t always good and tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems.

The same could be said for this slightly different Unofficial Trilogy.  It’s unofficial for the simplest reason – they’re home videos.  A grouping of skits that I made with my kid brother starting back in 1991 (when he was around 7 and I was around 16) and ending the early winter of last year.

If you watch them, I hope you enjoy them.  If you don’t, don’t ever come looking for help from Shott Gunnn!

(SIDENOTE: Some history… the first two were filmed within rainy days of each other.  I started each with a basic idea, but we made the dialogue and action up as we went along.  I edited them both in camera, rewinding to erase takes, most times not successfully.  The last one was filmed on an iPhone 4s, which is a fraction of the size of a VHS tape.  It’s a worthy homage of the originals, including mistakes and all.  If you get through all three, I think you’d agree that it wraps things up nicely, bringing the Unofficial Trilogy full circle.)