As for this TV spot previewing The Darkest Hour, keep a lookout for this guy at the 0:15 mark:
No, that is not a hula hoop around him.
Is that Max Headroom, or a waxy-faced man who doesn’t know how to run natural? Here’s the commercial:
BONUS (MAYBE) FAKE!
In this ad for eHarmony, do we really believe Jon? No guy really doesn’t want to be single that bad… plus, I only think about 1 in 10 guys roll their eyes upward when counting to the number two:
It’s because of #3 that I loathe to recommend it, but it’s story ended up impressing me slightly (because my expectations were so low). Hence, the B+ ending.
This is the respectable one in the bunch. It’s about a fraternity prank that goes very wrong, similar Very Bad Things. It’s fairly believable, and it ratchets up the tension quite well. Then there’s the ending! Use this one as a palette cleanser.
There are three things I’ve recently stumbled (or restumbled) upon that have bothered me. If you would have asked me in advance if they would, I would have laughed at you and said:
I guess it’s possible.
Then I would have went back to my day.
Nonetheless, here they are, in no particular order:
At first. I was upset they made a sequel. Then… I got really upset.
I’m not a fan of the film Hoosiers, but I recognize its place as a revered sports flick. Maybe I need to see it again, but I remember seeing it during all the hoopla (pun!), and not thinking it was anything special. So it took me by major surprise when I thought there was a sequel to the Gene Hackman classic, starring Matthew Perry instead.
But then I found out it was a spoof preview that played at the ESPYS… and my anger didn’t subside:
IT’S SO FUCKING HORRIBLE I’D PREFER A SEQUEL!
I don’t think I’ll ever like Michelle Williams.
This is probably the best picture I've ever seen of her.
I can’t stand Michelle Williams. I tolerate her, not only because she’s probably not leaving Hollywood any time soon, but because Heath Ledgerhad to see something in her (other than his baby).
I don’t find her disgusting, a terrible actress, or an awful human being. So what causes this disdain?
Joey (Fucking) Potter
I loved Katie Holmes on Dawson’s Creek so much that it’s weird I can no longer stand her either (CRUISE! *shakes fist at the sky*)… you see, Williams played “the other girl,” Jen Lindley. whom Joey had to compete against for the affection of Dawson Leery (James Van Der Beek), and I guess I can’t let that go.
(SIDENOTE: I should mention that I stopped watching the show pretty early on, although I know she and Pacey ended up together. PACEY!*shakes fist at the sky*)
Please don’t let this become a trend.
You know how naming gimmicks come in waves… first there were commas:
I planned on posting the actual noises produced during the course of Gates of Hades, but it was removed from YouTube and now sells on their actual website for $199.95… just like an actual pusher – at first it was free, but now you gotta pay.
In reality, it’s caused by playing binaural beats. You can read about it here. But if I know you – and I think I do – you’d rather watch a video about it hear here:
The Muppets and Stars and Guest Stars and Cameo Stars and a Building and Horizontal Blinds
I saw the new Muppets movie around Over-Indulgence Day, and something about its cast struck me as interesting on a Coinkydink or Coinkydonk level.
It occurred to me that cameo star John Krasinski (better only? known as Jim Halpert from The Office) has connections to three of the ladies in the film.
Johnny Be Good
In The Office, John Krasinski’s character dated both Amy Adams and Rashida Jones’ characters, and in real life he’s married to Emily Blunt (she played Miss Piggy’s receptionist in Paris).
So is he in it because they’re all in it, or, no – it wouldn’t work the other way…
That’s crazy, right? It’s at least as crazy as Stephanie Courtney being in the Cavemen TV show:
You see, she was in a show based on GEICO characters, then she'd later be a character in Progressive ads. Talk about job insurance!
BONUS COINKYDINK OR COINKYDONK!
Disney’s Muppets:
Fozzie, wait for it...
Disney’s Puppets:
...okay, go for it! "Wocka, wocka, wocka!"
(SIDENOTE: Isn’t it weird that Miss Piggy is wearing the same outfit?)
Why the non-Muppets are puppets:
Whoopi Goldberg is one of the hosts on The View which is on ABC… which is owned by Disney.
Rico Rodriguez, or Manny from Modern Family, and it’s on ABC (see above).
Selena Gomez was on Wizards of Wizardly Place, which was on The Disney Channel.
BONUS BONUS COINKYDINK OR COINKYDONK!
The last two movies I saw in the theater featured this guy, and he’s only been in like six twelve films:
It’s closing in on Gimme Gimme Day, and what better way to celebrate the joyous overconsumption and high-expectations of youth than to examine the video games I was never Given Given.
Here are A Handful Of… The Video Games That Got Away:
Not what you’d expect to be first. This came out back in the days of me playing the original Maniac Mansion and Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders, but it was only available for Commodore 64. I had an IBM-compatible. To those not around at the time, that’s like wanting Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception, when all you have is the Wii.
I had a Sega Genesis, but I didn’t get the system when it was originally released with Altered Beast. Then again, ToeJam and Earl was still released after that. I’m not sure why I didn’t get this game. All I know is that I wanted it.
Another nerdy PC game. (It was available for DOS, but it looked fantastic on the Amiga. So I wanted the Amiga.) I didn’t even really play chess, but I guess I craved digitized violence. Don’t be surprised if one day it’s revealed that this game paved the way for Mortal Kombat. Speaking of kombat…
This was one of the two arcade fighting games I was good at (the other was Virtua Fighter), so when it was announced that there would be a version for the Super Nintendo, I was ecstatic. Then I realized how people must have felt when Pac-Man was finally released for the Atari 2600… Here’s the SNES commercial:
This game might look familiar, although its name is not. That’ sbecause you probably saw Tom Hanks playing it in the movie Big. Sadly, TCOTEW never existed in the real world… until now. Try it by clicking here.
Think of it as my early Gimme Gimme present for you.
Normally, television commercials are skipped by me with the simple press of a button. Especially when they are ads like this shitty local one (I didn’t even want to post it here, so you’ll have to click on those words).
But this commercial…
I don’t know what it is about it…
I can’t seem to skip past it.
And to top it off, I actually talk to my TV while it’s on! So strange…
(SIDENOTE: But not as strange as what’s in the lower right hand-corner of this screen.)
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 