In Defense Of… Some Of My Strange Sacred Cows

There are three things I’ve recently stumbled (or restumbled) upon that have bothered me.  If you would have asked me in advance if they would, I would have laughed at you and said:

I guess it’s possible.

Then I would have went back to my day.

Nonetheless, here they are, in no particular order:

  • At first. I was upset they made a sequel.  Then… I got really upset.

I’m not a fan of the film Hoosiers, but I recognize its place as a revered sports flick.  Maybe I need to see it again, but I remember seeing it during all the hoopla (pun!), and not thinking it was anything special.  So it took me by major surprise when I thought there was a sequel to the Gene Hackman classic, starring Matthew Perry instead.

It was called Hoosiers II: Senior Year.  My temper shot up the charts; how dare they, I cursed.

But then I found out it was a spoof preview that played at the ESPYS… and my anger didn’t subside:

IT’S SO FUCKING HORRIBLE I’D PREFER A SEQUEL!

  • I don’t think I’ll ever like Michelle Williams.

This is probably the best picture I've ever seen of her.

I can’t stand Michelle Williams.  I tolerate her, not only because she’s probably not leaving Hollywood any time soon, but because Heath Ledger had to see something in her (other than his baby).

I don’t find her disgusting, a terrible actress, or an awful human being.  So what causes this disdain?

Joey (Fucking) Potter

I loved Katie Holmes on Dawson’s Creek so much that it’s weird I can no longer stand her either (CRUISE! *shakes fist at the sky*)… you see, Williams played “the other girl,” Jen Lindley. whom Joey had to compete against for the affection of Dawson Leery (James Van Der Beek), and I guess I can’t let that go.

(SIDENOTE: I should mention that I stopped watching the show pretty early on, although I know she and Pacey ended up together.  PACEY! *shakes fist at the sky*)

  • Please don’t let this become a trend.

You know how naming gimmicks come in waves… first there were commas:

Truly, Madly, Deeply / Girl, Interrupted / Definitely, Maybe

Now is it going to be four word titles?

Words! *shakes fist at the sky*

Martha Marcy May Marlene and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy are at the fourfront forefront of this impending trend.

Why can’t they use good ol’ commas, ampersands, articles, pronouns, and and’s like Blood, Guts, Bullets and Octane or The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, & Her Lover.  Even shorter lists do it, like Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels and Fast, Cheap & Out of Control.

Speaking of Martha Marcy May Marlene, did you know that Elizabeth Olsen is the younger sister of these two?

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