The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… A Ranking Of Famous Sean’s
Hi, I’m Sean. This is my blog. This post is about other people named Sean (spelled the right way) that have done more than write a stupid little blog. Some of them I consider The Shit; some of them are Just Shitty; most fall somewhere in between. Here’s how they fall in my rankings:
Why are these three Seans ranked so high? Let’s see… one was Boromir in The Lord of the Rings and a James Bond villain (plus supposedly fantastic in HBO’s Game of Thrones), one was the original James Bond and Indiana Jones’ father (who has since quit Hollywood), and one is a bad boy for life.
JUST SHY OF THE SHIT
Sean Penn has had a hell of an interesting career and life… He’s been fantastic as an Actor! (Mystic River, Milk) and as a director (The Crossing Guard, Into the Wild); he was married to Madonna back at the height of her career and Robin Wright back when I had a crush on her back in Toys and Forrest Gump. So why isn’t he considered The Shit? He also got to bang Scarlett Johansson. Screw him. He gets #2 on my list of #2’s.
As for Sean Astin?
Pros: The Goonies, Toy Soldiers, and The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Cons: Encino Man and Rudy. Fuck Rudy.
NEITHER THE SHIT NOR SHITTY
Sean Hayes played the zany comic foil to the straight (gay) man in Will and Grace well, and he started a reality TV show to find a new scripted show (which flopped); now he co-produces NBC’s Grimm and TV Land’s Hot in Cleveland, so there’s that.
Sean Patrick Flanery was one of The Boondock Saints (which is a little overrated in my opinion), and he also played Indiana Jones, so there’s that. Neither is either.
I used to really want to see Sean Young naked; now I really want to see Paget Brewster naked (she looks like the upgraded version of her… plus, I fear I’ve said too much).
As for Big Sean, do I really need to remind you of his contribution to society?
And now the drumroll please… what, there’s no drumroll?!
This smug bastard doesn’t even know how to smile like a human being! Go ahead and do an image search! He always looks like the turd that he is! Why couldn’t he have spelled his name like Seann William Scott so he would have never made it on here! I’d much rather have ranked Shawn Carter (Jay-Z) or Shaun White if their parents knew what all the parents of the people above knew–
–how to spell Sean!