In Defense Of… Justin Bieber

It’s about that time for a new category, and this is one I’ve had an idea about for quite some time.

The premise is simple and it’s this:

Take a hated subject and write a polemic against the againsts.

I won’t argue for it.  I won’t praise it.  I’ll just defend it, hence In Defense Of.

So who better to start with than the one and only teen heart-throb and bane of most h8rs existence, Justin Bieber:

For example, I want to say, "With a fivehead like that I understand the bangs!" but I won't.

In the spirit and honor of this new post, I’ll begin with this:

  • Justin Bieber is nothing new… he’s merely the latest incarnation of a time-honored tradition.
  • Like the world’s oldest profession, the heart-throb is a mainstay.
  • “The Heart-Throb” is a product of the times, not a producer.
  • Much like how this nation elected a philanderer when our morals were at their lowest, an imbecile when we were most scared, and someone completely different when we wanted something completely different, Bieber is an unassuming girly boy in an era when women are seeking out effeminate, metrosexual men, for the most part.
  • Plus, young girls are kinda dumb and prone to clustered thinking… he was basically in the right place at the right time (on YouTube).

Much hullabaloo is also made about his hair.  So… does anyone remember Joey Lawrence?


He started out as a tyke on Nell Carter’s Gimme a Break! but really gained fame using the above catchphrase on Blossom.  Then he took a stab at a music career:

But his heart-throb status faded through the years, and the same will happen to Bieber.  Heck, Bieber has already made his appearance on CSI: Las VegasLawrence appeared on CSI: New York just four years ago!

So the way I look at it is this:

Ignore him.

Maybe even start to like him.

My sisters used to have their walls plastered with New Kids on the Block posters and their room filled with paraphernalia.  By the time Step by Step came out, I stopped fighting with them about their obsession.  I even admitted to start enjoying their music.  The posters didn’t last much longer after that.

To close, I’ve made these diagrams:


  1. Pingback: Hibbidy-Wah?! Are You Effing Kidding Me? « monkeyBLOGmonkeyDO – Peeling Away @ Pop Culture
  2. aneisha · July 20, 2013

    cutie and good movie

  3. aneisha · July 20, 2013


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