I don’t know if it was because hunger lead to my grumpiness, or the P.O.S. computer I was working on was a P.O.S., but upon staring at this fucking calendar* I became furious at its moronic attempt at “humor.”
For your consideration – the month of April, courtesy of the Fucking Stupidest Calendar Ever:
For those of you unfamiliar with Murphy’s Law, it means:
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Ironically. this calendar follows that adage to a T. And that “T” equals “Terrible.”
TOTALLY FUCKING TERRIBLE!
Let’s break this master P.O.S. down. Someone took the time not only to write this advice:
Always go over the blueprints with the plumber before starting a building project.
They also compounded the comedy by drawing a nonsensical picture of a man getting hosed by NOT ONE BUT TWO extremely misplaced pipes that are jutting out of a busted up wall.
HE SHOULD BE FIXING THE BUSTED UP WALL!
AND THEN (!) throw in the stupid little dude in the corner, whom I presume to be the eponymous Murphy, stating:
I should have worn a wet suit.
WHO THE FUCK WEARS A WET SUIT WHEN DOING CONSTRUCTION!
It was a very strange feeling I had, staring at this work of garbage push-pinned to the wall. The level of upset I attained makes me consider psychiatric help.
If you’re interested in ordering this calendar, go here, but know that we can no longer be friends. If you do go there to check out the other months, you are a certifiable masochist. And you can leave me your email address in the comments.
Sigh. I’m going to go to the bathroom to get some fresh air.
*Enjoy how I used “P.O.S.” instead of “Piece of Shit” but I still said “fucking?” This is what that Murphy’s Law calendar has reduced me to…