Month: October 2010

Drunken Recollection… Wedding Train Of Thought

Posted on by sgottahurt

A (Not So Artistic) Literal Wedding Train

I didn’t ever intend this blog to contain a lot of music-related posts, but I can’t help it.  Music is everywhere.  In movies.  On MTV TV.  In my car.  Which I am in.  A lot.  For work.  Not to live.

So this post will be about a quick train of thought about a few songs that occurred at – you guessed it – a wedding.

First came this song:

We couldn’t remember who sung Wind of Change, and the ambient noise was too loud for Shazam took do its job, so I had to do it the old fashioned way.  I Googled it.

Turned out to be by the German band, Scorpions, and it was released in 1990, which was later than I had expected.  We also found out Scorpions had also performed the song, Send Me an Angel.

We confused it with this version by Real Life:

(SIDENOTE: The above version is from 1983.  There was also a 1989 edition if you’re interested.  We didn’t know the Scorpions‘ tune of the same name at all.)

The other mixed-up train of thought occurred when we thought Nights in White Satin (which I always thought was about knights that wore satin armor in protest since I never really listened to the words) was by Procol Harum.

Nope.  It was by The Moody Blues.  Procol Harum’s most famous diddy was A Whiter Shade of Pale.

Coinkydinkily, they were both released in 1967, and their videos are after the jump.

Read More

Just Sh–ty To The Sh–… Michelle Pfeiffer, Amazingly

Posted on by sgottahurt

Before

For whatever reasons between then and now, I was never a huge Michelle Pfeiffer fan.  Audiences saw pretty and pensive Actor!; I saw someone that reminded me of someone in my life I couldn’t quite stand.

So that catches us up to now.  Having recently gotten into Netflix (as opposed to buying everything on DVD that I planned on seeing), I’ve found myself on strange viewing tangents.

Recently, I’ve gone from a documentary on Ozploition (Not Quite Hollywood) to a film featured in that doc (Dead End Drive-In) to a poster featured in that flick (Into the Night) to becoming a fan of its star and ingenue, Michelle Pfeiffer.

With that film, I was finally able to see what the American public (and People Magazine) always saw in her, and I decided to see all the early works in her filmography.  So I started with Grease 2, and that means I bore witness… to this:

Song-writing aside – and believe me, the music was completely Crisco bacon-fat in a coffee can to Grease – I’m amazed she had a career at all after, ugh, Cool Rider.

And that’s speaks volumes to her skills as an Actor! I may even be so kind as to eliminate the sarcastic italics and !

After

SIDENOTE: The only song worse than anything from Grease 2 is Everything is Food from Popeye (only watch if you hate yourself):

InASense, Lost… This UFO Stuff Is Really Starting To Get To Me

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s one thing when rednecks and daytime talk shows are talking about the true existence of aliens (or my drunk friends after witnessing strange lights over the ocean at night while on a cruise), but it’s a whole ‘nother thing when Stephen Hawking, the Vatican, high-ranking government officials, U.S. Air Force missile silo operators, and China are chatting it up.

And then there’s this:

I know I’ve mentioned my top three fears on this site before, but I would like to officially add a fourth.

4) Aliens

In My Brain While Sleeping… Daniel Tosh’s New Show

Posted on by sgottahurt

Daniel Tosh, host/star(?) of Tosh.0, made an unexpected appearance in one of my alcohol-induced dreams.

And there wasn’t just one of him, but a plethora.

Basically, Tosh was starring(?) in another “Comedy” Central show called Candy Games.

He played all these weird characters that live in a candy machine that happens to be an apartment building.  So either it was a very large dispenser of massive sugar concoctions, or the inhabitants were teeny tiny.

The plot circled mostly around his real-life self and his live-in girlfriend named Candy.  You see, they were engaged, but should wouldn’t put out until they were married, hence Candy Games, I guess.

And of course, there was a wacky neighbor that dressed in a bunch of strange costumes all the time.

Don’t ask me to explain it… even though it occurred in my subconscious.

Starring Daniel Tosh, Daniel Tosh, and Daniel Tosh (Not starring Tyler Perry, Martin Lawrence, nor Eddie Murphy)

Is it possible this dream stemmed from seeing this malfunctioning sign on the way home from soccer?

(Not at all likely.)

Happy Find… Famous Last Words Mashup

Posted on by sgottahurt

There have been a lot of these made over the [choose your own increment of time passed]*, and I only present this one to you because of the awesome [choose your own segment of the following video]**.

(via Screen Junkies)

*I chose “months.”

**I chose “ending.”  I mean, c’mon…  Troll 2 and The Room?!  It gives me a [choose your own physical reaction].

Musical Musings… Finally Remembered To Look Up These Themes

Posted on by sgottahurt

It doesn’t happen often, but today I have some words of advice:

If you live in Detroit and you’ve had your house broken into twice, do not watch Detroit 1-8-7… it gave me a nightmare.

Luckily, I was able to fall back to sleep, but from now on I’m sticking with something positive, like MTV’s World of Jenks or The Buried Life.  Here are the theme songs to each of the shows:

  • Kid Cudi’s Soundtrack 2 My Life from World of Jenks
  • Grits’ My Life Be Like (Ooh-Ahh) from The Buried Life

Hibbidy-Wah?! Teledildonics

Posted on by sgottahurt

Yeah.  I don’t know how I feel about this.

So it turns that Google has been developing cars that drive themselves.  This comes out less than two years since one of their mapping vans hit a baby deer (and documented it).

All this when we haven’t even perfected teledildonics yet.

For those that don’t know what teledildonics is (I just found out myself), allow me to present you with a sample:

 

Coming soon to the Wii. Heh.

 

If you haven’t put two and two twogether yet, I’ll let Wikipedia spell it out for you:

Teledildonics (also known as “cyberdildonics”) are electronic sex toys that can be controlled by a computer.

Even the above Wiimotes can be accessed and used by a computer.

If you don’t think that’s Hibbidy-Wah?! enough for you, then there’s always this:

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Name That Car!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Using puns is a way I get by.  Sure, crack cocaine might be more forgivable and less annoying, but whatevs.  Speaking of annoying, isn’t it annoying when people say “whatevs“?

Anyhonda, in today’s So, Duh! Pop Quiz, I’m interjecting (American!) car company logos over scenes from movies and other random things.  You need to figure out the make of the car.

Is it easy?  Ever try getting a girl into the backseat of your Smart Car?

1)

2)

3)

4) 

5)

(Answers after the jump) Read More

A Handful Of… Decent Songs Performed In Non-Musicals

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m sorry, but I am not going to apologize for having any of these songs on the list.  Wait.  Does that work?

Anyhoosiersshouldneverbemadeintoamusical, here are A Handful Of songs I enjoyed that were sung by characters in movies that were not musicals.  Agree or disagree in the comments (Jeremy!)…

  • Sex Bob-Omb’s Garbage Truck from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

This song was actually written by Beck (I’m not sure if the actors performed it), so there’s that.  And the movie is kick-ass (not to be confused with Kick-Ass), so double win.

  • Eddie and the Cruisers’ On the Dark Side from Eddie and the Cruisers

This movie originally came out in 1984, and I guarantee more people know John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band’s song than the flick itself.  Actor! Michael Paré would go on to make tons more B-movies.  He would also co-star in TV’s The Greatest American Hero, believe it or not.

  • The Soggy Bottom Boys’ Man of Constant Sorrow from O’ Brother, Where Art Thou?

Okay… this wasn’t a song originally made for the Coen Brothers’ film, but I still have to include the remake of Dick Burnett’s classic.

  • Josie and the Pussycat’s 3 Small Words from Josie and the Pussycats

Letters to Cleo front woman, Kay Hanley, performed all the eponymous rock group’s songs, and you have to admit the song’s as catchy as chlamydia herpes syphilis a smile.  Also, take notice of the clever countdown in the chorus (6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1)…

  • The Wonders’ That Thing You Do! from That Thing You Do!

The group might have almost been called The Oneders, but real-life rock group, Fountains of Wayne, did a great job at capturing the pop hit feeling of that era.  They proved their pop hit chops again a few years later with their own overplayed catchy hit – Stacy’s Mom.

  • Electric Dream Machine’s Dayman from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Pure pop perfection.

Worth 1002 Words… Ridiculous Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

 

Fu Boychu

Some alternates:

  • Handlebar Must-Not
  • Pre Goateen
  • Hairy Graffiti
  • Dumball Machine
  • Dana Carvey