Month: July 2010

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Newest Social Networking Tool

Posted on by sgottahurt

"matrixicon"

It was going to be all the rage – at least in my dream.

Introducing DOTTER™ – the newest social networking tool.

Much like Facebook status updates, Twitter feeds, and Friendster beeper pagings, DOTTER™ would keep those in the need to know in the know now.

It’s easy to use to… using advanced DOT MATRIX TECHNOLOGY, tell everyone your thoughts, feelings, and meal options in 140 PIXELS OR LESS.

Did I mention this dream took place in the 80’s?  Way back when there was no TripleDoubleU?

Well that never stopped these guys:

What Twits Used to Use to Twitter... circa 1935

(via Urlesque)

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Michael Cera’s Series Of Series

Posted on by sgottahurt

That outfit's kinda Kick-Ass...

Ever since Michael Cera’s breakout performance in Arrested Development, he’s seemed to become obsessed with series.  Because Arrested Development was a television series, you see.  Don’t believe me?  Check out these Coinkydinks (or Coinkydonks)…

Though not officially a remake, revision, or reboot (or whatever Hellywood wants to call unoriginal ideas), the main characters’ were named after the main characters in The Thin Man film series – Nick and Nora Charles.  Interestingly enough, The Thin Man films were also adapted into a TV show, but all of it was based on a single novel by pulp writer, Dashiell Hammett.

The movie is based on the first book in a series by C.D. Payne (which could be a pretty good Garbage Pail Kids name in more than a few ways).  Will there be sequels to the movie, though?  The youth revolted instead of seeing this one at the theater, so I’m going with no.

This film adaptation has yet to be released, and though I don’t think it will meet everyone’s tastes, I’m certainly looking forward to it.  Director Edgar Wright made Shaun of the Dead; he also made this flick.  ‘Nuff said.  But if there is more to be said, it relates to this overall post… the movie was based on a comic book series.

"He does seem to prefer series... and my costume!"

Drunken Recollection… Kids, Kidney Stones, And American Pie

Posted on by sgottahurt

Truer words never spoken... on a t-shirt.

As per uzhe (I don’t know how to shorten usual phonetically), I have a few things to attend to in this Drunken Recollection.

ITEM #1

  • The above shirt idea. Looks good, doesn’t it?

ITEM #2

  • “Does chewing Styrofoam cause kidney stones?” There are no Yahoo! Answers in regard to this, but I finally have this question answered:

ITEM #3

Hibbidy-Wah?! Olivia Was Munn-derful?!

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s looking like the end of an era for G4’s Attack of the Show.  The (Self-Proclaimed?) Mayor of G4, Kevin Pereira, is probably going to be losing his co-host, Olivia Munn, officially to The Daily Show.

I am of course basing this on the fact that AOTS films in LA, while TDS films in NYC… and there’s the fact of the matter that she makes a pretty good correspondent:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

My suggestion for Olivia’s replacement:

She could handle three shows, right?

The lovely and lilting Alison Brie has already charmed my heart, and when she’s been on AOTS in the past, she’s gotten along swimmingly with Kevin.

And speaking of swimming(ly), here she is in a bikini:

I wonder if I'd feel the same about Brie cheese?

Awesome Battle… Which Dog Would You Want More?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Would you prefer…

A dog that wouldn’t leave you hanging?

A dog that could fetch you a cold one?

Or this wonder of mankind?

InASense, Lost… Drawing Ain’t Child’s Play

Posted on by sgottahurt

If Mrs. Voorhees* had the wherewithal to give her reborn son, Jason, a box of crayons than a barn full of tools, the art he would have produced might have looked something like these:

(Very) Artistic Representation

(Very) Artistic Representation

(Very) Artistic Representation

(Very) Artistic Representation

(Very Scary) Artistic Representation

In all actuality, this is work of Dave Devries, creator of The Monster Engine.  If you can’t figure out what he does by looking at the above images (because they’re too frightening), he takes the doodles of children and enhances them.

Click on the above page link to check more out.  Oh.  He has a book, too.

* I originally started the post with a reference to Chucky since the headline mentioned Child’s Play, but Friday the 13th was a more logical choice.  For a pointless article.  From a dumb blog.

BONUS!  This one’s just plain cool…

Does anyone else hear this one screaming, "Movie!" (As opposed to regular screaming...)

BONUS BONUS!  Check out my (Not So) Artistic Representations here.

BONUS BONUS BONUS! A hilarious TripleDoubleU classic is here.

JusWondering… Is A Detroit Bucket List Ironic?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I wish I took a screen cap of an advertisement for something called The Detroit Bucket List, or that I at clicked on the link, because I’m having the hardest time finding out what it was (translation–> nothing on the first page of my Google search looked familiar.

One thing I found was a trailer for a locally produced “movie” with the same name:

It’s from two years ago, though (you can catch a glimpse of Tiger Stadium before it became a barren field).

Otherwise, I found this Facebook page and not much else.

But all in all, it got me JusWondering… is a Detroit Bucket List in any way ironic (because both imply impending doom)?  Is it an oxymoron?  Or just plain ol’ moronic?

Well, anyyallzboy… about this time last year, I started a bucket list with the promise to continue it.  This is me continuing it – Detroit style!

  • I want to produce a documentary about Detroit in its heyday (what a fun word, BTW). I would love to see footage of Detroit’s early American origins, through its prosperous periods, to its eventual downfall.  Maybe Ken Burns could put together this opus.  Why won’t I do it?  I’m too lazy.
  • I want to produce a show about a cop from another (better funded) city trying to get things done in the Detroit Police Department. Imagine a detective from New York, Chicago, or Miami battling not only the crime, but the system… I think it could be intriguing.
  • I want to shake up the system. Namely, I could see myself running for mayor.  I’ve lived in Detroit for 98.8% of my life, and I deserve the opportunity as much as any of the other clowns that have “won” the position.  First order of business – shit-can the useless City Council and bump up the number of fire fighters and police.
  • I want to build a movie studio in Detroit. This was an early wish, long before Hollywood even came calling our neck of the woods.  I also envisioned setting up excellent filmmaking programs at Wayne State University (my alma mater), U of M Dearborn (only), and Hank High (a.k.a. Henry Ford Community College).  I have my reasons for these three.
  • I want to move out of Detroit. A man can dream, can’t he?

Musical Musings… This Has To Be The Worst Song Of All Time

Posted on by sgottahurt

This song has been stalking me, and if it had any lyrics, it would quickly make my Kamikaze Karaoke list.  It’s already a contender to supplant a tune in my Unholy Trilogy (these are the three songs that will make me leave a bar).

And as much as I loathe Eric Johnson’s Cliffs of Dover because of this smug fucking kid (to be honest, I probably would have hated the riffs without his shit-eating grin), this song is unforgivable for being… yeah, I’m going to just go with being.

Ever have a song follow you?

Worth 1003 Words… Katy Perry WTF Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

Whipped Into Shape

Oh, and by the way… this is me self-promoting another side project called I Giffed a Girl.  Hey, a sorry from me is more than you’ll ever get from Katy Perry.  Or from Shake Weights.  But not from Reddi Wip.

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Guess That 900 Number Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

Can you call me?

 

For this edition of the So, Duh! Pop Quiz, I thought I’d go with a nostalgic walk down memory lane in the style of Pop Culture Perfect Storms.  

In the days of yore – “pre-TripleDoubleU” – there were only so many ways to get in touch with celebrities.  Actually, aside from fan letters and magazines, there was only one truly sorta interactive way to reach them… 900 phone numbers.  

This is a test of your memory or pure guessing skills.  The corresponding answers in the form of commercials follow after the jump.  Good luck!  

1) (900) 909-JEFF  

    a) Jeff Bridges
    b) DJ Jazzy Jeff
    c) Jeff Goldblum
    d) Jeff Daniels

 2) (900) 740-3500   

    a) Easter Bunny
    b) Santa Claus
    c) Fairy Godmother
    d) none of the above

3) (900) 909-FRED  

    a) Fred Savage
    b) Fred Kruger
    c) Fred McGriff
    d) Fred Stanley

4) (900) 909-1133 

    a) Women’s Secret Confessions, featuring Donna Rice
    b) Women’s Secret Confessions, featuring Fawn Hall
    c) Women’s Secret Confessions, featuring Jessica Hahn
    d) Women’s Secret Confessions, featuring “Marilyn Monroe” lookalike

5) (900) 490-FREAK  

    a) Freddie Freak
    b) a freaky puppet
    c) a waste of time
    d) all the above

6) (900) 660-4LOU  

    a) Lou Albano
    b) Lou Ferrigno
    c) Lou Diamond Phillips
    d) Luigi and Mario

7) (900) 909-5KIDS  

    a) Bebe’s Kids
    b) a group of five kids
    c) “Quints” brand dolls
    d) New Kids on the Block

8) (900) 909-4300  

    a) Easter Bunny
    b) Santa Claus
    c) Fairy Godmother
    d) none of the above

9) (900) 909-1800 

    a) Paula Abdul
    b) Madonna
    c) Stacey Q
    d) a guide to 800 numbers

10) (900) 909-MCMC 

    a) MC Skat Kat
    b) Mayor McCheese and Ronald McDonald
    c) Young MC
    d) MC Hammer

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