Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? South Park-tisan Politics

South Park creators (and in my opinion, geniuses) Trey Parker and Matt Stone have never taken any sides politically (via Wikipedia, of course):

Yeah, we have seen that. What we’re sick of—and it’s getting even worse—is: you either like Michael Moore or you wanna fuckin’ go overseas and shoot Iraqis. There can’t be a middle ground. Basically, if you think Michael Moore’s full of shit, then you are a super-Christian right-wing whatever. And we’re both just pretty middle-ground guys. We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far left and the far right are the same exact person to us.Trey Parker

Okay, so they consider themselves middle-ground.  But what about their infamous foursome – Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny.  I placed them on the chart according to what I thought they represented.

  • Stan as Liberal/Centrist

Known for having little faith in the adults of the town, he’s supported most of the things that Democrats support: gay rights, civil liberties, and the separation of Church and State.  Having said that, he tries to distance himself from any political parties whatsoever.  And remember, this is the kid that refused to eat veal and grew vaginas all over his body.

  • Kyle as Liberal/Libertarian

Being of Jewish decent, he must be part Democrat. But otherwise, he favors limited government intervention, hence the Libertarian slant.  He’s considered the smartest of the four, and he’s least likely to fall in tow with the group’s wackier plans.

Libertarian’s worldview:

We hold that all individuals have the right to exercise sole dominion over their own lives, and have the right to live in whatever manner they choose, so long as they do not forcibly interfere with the equal right of others to live in whatever manner they choose.

Kyle’s worldview (via Wikipedia):

Either it’s all okay, or none of it is… (in regard to whether any subject should remain off-limits to satire)

Not really close to the same, but it’s something.

  • Kenny as Republican/Centrist

Aren’t all poor rednecks right-leaning heathens?  Moving on…

  • Cartman as Totalitarian/Republican/Fascist

More Totalitarian than anything else, it’s his way or the highway.  And then there’s always this:

"Respect my authoritah!"

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